DIY Wedding 4: T Minus 8 Months, Continued

Eight months out from your wedding there's a lot to do! While you're registering for gifts, researching and booking entertainment, and booking photographers, you'll also need to meet with caterers, assuming that your venue does not provide on site catering. Just as you wouldn't hire a DJ or a band without hearing them, you surely wouldn't hire a caterer without tasting the food. This means you have to attend multiple tastings while still maintaining some semblance of a reasonable eating plan. Remember, you're also going to be shopping for a wedding dress this month! When you find a caterer you like, go ahead and hire them this month if possible, or early next month. Just like all the other good wedding services, they tend to get snapped up pretty far in advance. Once again, at this point it's not so much about specifics. You don't have to know your menu (unless you have some particularly exotic cuisine or fusion theme that you're dead set on, then it helps to at least know the flavor profiles you want the chef to be familiar with), but you want to know that the caterer is familiar with the ingredients that you hope to see in in your wedding feast. If you're vegan or have other special dietary requirements, you'll want to make that clear to the caterer and make sure they can work within those strictures early on, as well.

If you're expecting out of town guests, research hotels close to your venue and reserve a block of rooms at a couple of options in different price ranges. Contact the hotels you're interested in, explain to them the reason you're interested in reserving a block of rooms, and inquire as to whether there's a discount for reserving multiple rooms far in advance. Don't be afraid to play the "gosh we're just so excited about getting married and we really want our guests coming from Piddletydink, Iowa to have a wonderful time, on an okay-time budget" card. Ask to speak to a manager, particularly if you're looking to book a large number of rooms. If your wedding is a smaller event or you don't have as many out of town guests coming, look to see if there's a smaller hotel or bed and breakfast option where more personal service might be available. Speaking directly to an owner/innkeeper and telling the sweet story of your engagement might net you a discount with a sole proprietor where the manager of the Hampton Inn would have neither the authority nor the desire to help you out. Smaller B&B locations can also be a great place to host a Bridesmaids' Luncheon or other event, and doubling up the events can net you a discount, as well.

When you launch your wedding website this month, you'll put the information for all the accommodation options there for your guests to choose from. If reserving a block of rooms in advance is not in the cards for you, at least contact local hotels in advance and find out what options are available so that you can have the info available for your out of town guests instead of making them do their own homework. If there are other local events going on in your area that conflict with your wedding date and make rooms hard to come by, make sure to let out of town guests know to reserve rooms early so they won't be left with no place to stay!

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Living With a Perfectionist

It can be very challenging living with a perfectionist, and of course much will depend upon the degree of their perfectionism and your own personality. But there is no doubt that being on the receiving end of their obsessions and their demanding behaviour can be very painful and contribute to a wide spectrum of interpersonal problems. In the end you may decide to end the relationship, but there are some strategies that might help bring about positive change. Most of the following suggestions are aimed at partners of perfectionists, however they will also be helpful if you have a perfectionist in your household or in your immediate family:

Don't become a slave to their perfectionism just because they want things done their way. For example if they are obsessive about tidiness and order it wouldn't be right for you to spend all your time trying to appease them to try and keep the peace. Instead offer to help, but don't allow things to get to the stage where you're doing all the work just to satisfy their demand for things to be done a certain way.

Don't take it personally. If you feel relentlessly criticised by your perfectionist, remember that their senses are so finely tuned that they would find fault with the most saintly of people. If they seem to always ignore or discount your ideas or opinions, remember they do truly fear being influenced or controlled by others. That means that they would behave in this way with anyone they were close to. I'm not suggesting you make endless excuses for bad behaviour, however remembering that it isn't about you can make their actions and comments a great deal less hurtful.

Avoid digging your heels in or acting defensively as this will only cause you to take up opposing positions and exacerbate the situation. Decide what you can tolerate (and perhaps choose to ignore) and what you can't put up with. Then focus on improving communication and understanding with regard to the latter specifically.

Your opinions are valid! Don't be tempted to agree with everything the other person says or deny your own personal values, opinions, likes and dislikes. Obsessives tend to spend their lives analysing what is the most logical or efficient course of action, but that still doesn't mean you should be bullied or shamed into going along with it. You're entitled to have your own ideas as to what's important, what's trivial, right or wrong. Think about it before you agree to do something you don't agree with - take time to think it over. You may of course decide to agree to it because you care for them, but don't feel obliged to ignore your own wishes and opinions just to keep the peace.

One thing you can do which can help considerably is to show you are trustworthy, reliable and consistent. Because perfectionists yearn for certainty and predictability, they tend to place a lot of importance on honesty and straight-talking. If you tend to be a 'people pleaser' and find it difficult to say what you want and need, this can be interpreted as indecisiveness or a weakness by a perfectionist. It would be well worth learning to be more assertive.

It's important to recognize when perfectionism becomes abusive. Although of course it would be ridiculous to suggest that all perfectionists become abusive, perfectionism can set the stage for abuse. If you feel compelled to bow to your partner's demands out of fear of retribution - physical or otherwise - then this isn't a healthy situation. A person who is a perfectionist does not have the right to impose his or her will on someone in an unhealthy way.

Focus on building your own self-esteem and independence. If you can nurture your own self-worth then you won't depend on positive feedback from anyone else. You are setting yourself up for a life of emotional turbulence if you rely on the approval or praise of a perfectionist, after all they are much better at expressing what's wrong, not what's right! They feel the need to keep their emotions in check in order to avoid feeling vulnerable, which is why they find it difficult to show positive feelings or appreciation.

Being needy or too dependent on a perfectionist is not a good idea - it will make them anxious and may lead to them withdrawing from you. They are more likely to remain close to you (and respect you) if you are involved in your own interests and not putting all your energy into your relationship with them. If you sense you are becoming too dependent then take steps to rediscover who you are, and strive to become a whole person, independent of any relationship. It may feel strange to start with, but fight any feelings of anxiety or isolation, and you have so much to gain. Never give the perfectionist the idea that your happiness depends entirely on reassurance from them - and make sure it doesn't!

Don't pressurise them. Any direct confrontation or effort to force the person to change will almost certainly end in failure. Instead it's more likely to encourage them to reassert their dominance and result in a power struggle. Of course, that doesn't mean you should silently tolerate the situation. Tell them clearly how you feel and your reasons for asking them to make changes. Rather than making judgemental or demanding statements such as "you must change", try "I would prefer you to do this because (give reason)".

Blaming and criticising will not help, and try to avoid exaggeration, 'always/never' or 'all or nothing' statements. Forget who's wrong or right, instead focus on being reasonable and looking for solutions. Remember that we can only control our own behaviour, but that when one person changes, it changes the dynamics of the relationship and encourages the other person to change too.

Appreciate and re-enforce positive changes. Show appreciation where appropriate (don't overdo it) and try to adopt a more light-hearted cheerful attitude. And even if you feel inclined to, don't deliberately withhold affection as a means of on-going punishment. Better to be up front about what's upset you and deal with it in an adult way.

This article is brought to you by PERSONALS.

How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex - A Must Read

It's impossible to get over your ex and move on with your life if you can't stop thinking about her. The more you think about her, the more you miss her and the worse you will feel. Whether you want to get her back or simply move on with your life you need to be able to control your thoughts in a constructive way. That's exactly what I want to teach you in this article!

Before I start I just want to let you know that whatever your current situation, whether you just want to move on or get her back, this article can help you. For moving on it's obvious why this article is useful but for those looking to try and get her back let me explain. After the break up I highly recommend that you go through a 30 day no contact phase and if you are constantly thinking about her it may cause you to have a moment of weakness and call her which would destroy your chances of getting her back. This article can help you avoid being those moments of weakness.

I remember when I broke up with my ex I couldn't sleep properly for the first two weeks. It was horrible! When I was awake I felt like a zombie because my mind was constantly analysing where things had gone wrong and asking questions like "How could she do this to me?". I had felt very betrayed as she cheated on me. I spent a lot of time and energy focusing on how/why she did that. This is what I like to kill victim thinking.

Victim thinking is so detrimental to leading a good life. You may have friends who are victim thinkers who often say things like "Why does this always happen to me?" or "Why don't good things happen to me?". Perhaps you may even have these thoughts yourself.

The thing is... our brains are really really powerful and whatever questions we ask ourselves our brain will answer them. So when people ask themselves "Why does this always happen to me?" their brain then gives them answer to that question "It's because you are poor/short/fat/bald/stupid etc. etc.". This is obviously not healthy to carry these mental beliefs.

Our questions control our focus and our focus controls what we do!

To stop thinking about your ex girlfriend you need to change the questions running through your mind. One of the greatest and most powerful questions when something bad happens is - "What's great about this?" you may be thinking "Nothing! This is shit!"... OK well then ask yourself "What could be great about this?". You may start thinking well I now have time to hang out with friends or go travelling or whatever takes your fancy.

So the key is to ask better questions. Focus on what can be great in your life now that you are single again. It's also important that you try to remove triggers or reminders of her. For example if you have pictures of her lying about or texts on your phone get rid of it.

Focus on improving your life and keeping yourself busy and the new possibilities available to you. Every cloud has a silver lining and it's up to you to find it.

This news article is brought to you by WOMEN'S BLOG - where latest news are our top priority.

Text Your Ex Boyfriend Back - The Team Plan Vs The Solo Plan

If you just went through a breakup, then you might be wondering if you can text your ex boyfriend back and get him back in your arms soon. While thinking about doing this, you might wonder whether it would be best to get your girl friends together and work as a team to text your ex boyfriend back or to try and do things on your own. Which way would really be best? Read on.

The Team Plan

If you want to text your ex boyfriend back, you might want to get your girl friends together and talk about your breakup. You might ask them for advice that can help you get your ex back in the future, as well. Naturally, being such good friends, they will probably offer up a slew of advice for you, some of which will just be downright crazy, while others may sound sensible.

See, although running to your girl friends for help might seem like a good idea in your head, it really isn't if you think about it - most of all if your girl friends are also friends with your ex. For starters, they might feel like they are caught in the middle because they want to help you out, but don't want to get on your ex's bad side at the same time.

Aside from that, if some of them are better friends with your ex, there are chances that he will know exactly what you are doing and thus avoid you altogether, too. He might end up resenting and losing respect for you, as well.

The Solo Plan

So, if you really want to text your ex boyfriend back as quickly as possible, it would be best to just work on your own. If you want to succeed, all you really have to do is learn how to text full advantage of texts. Here are some tips to help you out.:

• Only send your ex positive text messages, so that he doesn't get annoyed whenever he receives a text from you.

• Always be happy and cheerful in your texts, so that you can pass positive vibes back onto him.

• Keep your text messages light, so he doesn't feel pressured to reply to you.

• Do not mention the past or your old relationship in any way to keep the positive vibes going.

• Do not text him too much; otherwise, you will look clingy and desperate.

This news article is brought to you by GLOBAL WEATHER NEWS - where latest news are our top priority.

Words to Attract Beautiful Women

Attracting women is easy and through proper research, observation and practice you will have women calling you all the time. It can be done by use of both verbal and non verbal methods. By combining both of these factors you will have a higher chance of getting the girl of your dreams.

The use of words is very effective in picking up women. There are no specific set of words that can magically attract women to you. It is all about the delivery of the words. This means how you say the words, and what you say.

Non verbal in this case refers to your body language. This is very important and will play a big role in attracting her. Your body language will tell a lot about you and can be used to make a good first impression.

You should approach her with confidence. Women love guys who are confident. This can be shown by both your body language and your words. Your approach is the first step towards getting her. Once you have established that you are a confident guy, she will consider what you have to say as important.

You should watch what you say so that she does not get the wrong idea. Putting your statements in an intelligent way also works. You can communicate something without actually saying it directly. This will help especially when you want to tell her something and not seem like you are bragging.

Good conversational skills make it easier for you to be able to relate and make a connection with her. You should talk a little bit about yourself before shifting the conversation to be about her. It is advisable not to ask her the common and boring questions. Instead lead her to what you want to talk about. Listening is also important. Listen to what she has to say. Women love men who listen.

You should compliment her. The compliment should sound genuine and should be unique. It should be on something above her neckline. Teasing her and the use of humor also works. When teasing her you should, however, be careful so that it does not come off as if you are being rude. Hot women are not used to being teased hence it will make you different from other guys. Women also love guys who can make them laugh. If you manage to achieve this through the use of words then you are half way there.

This article is brought to you by SINGLES.

Being Single in a Relationship

In a relationship one of the first mistakes people make, is in depending on the other to an unrealistic extreme. People repeatedly wonder where they went wrong once they realize that they fear the loss of their partner only because of the fear of being alone, and/or when they lost their ability to be independent of another. Unless you were born a twin, or were forced to be very dependent on someone throughout your life, being alone is one of the most natural ways of being. A relationship should not be about surviving on your partners air that they breathe. It should however be about allowing that person to breathe along with you in your space, vice-verse.

We can be single in a relationship, single in the sense of continuing to be you. I am not talking about being selfish when I speak of being single, I am talking about being your own person first. Being single in a relationship, is also the sense of knowing full well that even if there are days, months, even a lifetime that you will not be able to spend with that certain someone, that you will survive and be happy within yourself. This is not to say that, people do not miss a partner that they have lost, or the happiness that they have shared. Being single in a relationship means being dependent on you because at the end of the day... it is only you in reality.

People tend to depend on their partners to make them happy, and/or to make their day a good day. This is another mistake made repeatedly in relationships. It is utterly impossible for one person to make another happy unless that person wants to be happy first. A single-minded person chooses to be happy before they expect another to make them happy. A single-minded person can sleep in a separate bedroom and not feel in any way, that it will make or break their relationship. When we are new to a relationship, we genuinely lose ourselves in our partners. This is a time when we must be very aware of how easily we can lose our independence. Our independence gives us a certain strength which is vital to our ability to continue to grow in a healthy and balanced direction, which in turn creates a healthy and happy partner. I have met many people that seem to think they need to constantly be around others, which for many of those, that same need has played havoc on their relationships. In not realizing that it is because they do not think independently or choose to not think independently, they have allowed that fear of being alone to control them. Our thoughts do very much control our destiny.

A relationship can only be successful when the partners involved are there out of true commitment and choice and not out of a dependency on the other.

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Guys Decoded: How To Tell He's Into You

Back in the caveman days, it was simple to know if a guy liked you; if he grabbed you and took you back to his cave, things were pretty clear! But ever since we've become more civilized, it's become more difficult for women to tell whether or not a man was interested.

It seems like attraction should be one of the easiest things in the world, but sometimes it's just not easy to tell if you're reading the signs correctly. In that case, here are 5 tips we've gathered; signals that should let you know if he's got a thing for you.

1. He Brings You Unexpected Gifts

This is one of the top giveaways that a guy has feelings for you. If he suddenly brings you an unexpected gift, you know that you've been on his mind and he'd probably like to be more than friends.

Giving someone a gift is a very personal act; it's not something normally done for just anyone. Gifts are something we give to the people who are important to us. If a guy gives you a present of some sort - especially an expensive one - you can take that as a sign that he's thinking of you in a special way.

2. He Teases You But Not Other Girls

When a guy teases a girl, odds are that he likes her. For many guys, teasing is a form of flirting. If she responds favorably, great; if not, well then he can say he was "just teasing."

It's an especially strong sign if he teases you a lot, but rarely teases other girls. If that is the case, then it's a pretty sure sign of his interest in you.

3. He Smiles A Lot When You're Together

If you've ever had a big crush on someone, you know how it brings a giant smile to your face every time they come around.

If a guy like you, then he'll probably get that same big smile whenever you come near; it's a sure sign that the sight of you makes him happy.

There's a difference between the normal polite smiles that people share when they pass in the halls and the smile of genuine happiness that you'll see on the face of someone truly pleased to see you.

4. He Will Do Things To Impress You

If a guy is interested in you, he's going to do whatever he can to make sure that the interest is mutual. This means he'll do things to try and impress you; to try and prove that he's the man you should want to be with.

He may boast about his great job with a good company so that you'll know he can afford to provide a good life for you; it's the same reason some men like to show off an expensive car or home.

Other guys will try to show off their prowess in sports, as a show of strength is another (subconscious) way of showing you that he is able to take care of you. However he does it, it's a sign that he is trying to convince you that he's your man!

5. He Emails Or Calls You Frequently

Does he text you often or leave lots of messages on your Facebook page? That's a great way to know that he's really interested in you.

People will often text you or leave you a message when there's actually something to say or share - but if a guy's interested in you, he'll text, email, or call frequently, just to find out what you're doing or to say "Hi." It's a sure sign that he's interested in you!

This article is brought to you by MATCH.