Relationship Advice - When Being Dumped Should Make You Happy

No one likes being dumped. But, believe it or not, there are times when it's the best thing that can possibly happen to you (really?). Why would this be the case? Because there are times when some relationships are shaky at best, and if you had really taken a good, long look at the relationship earlier, you would have realized it didn't really have a future.

While this isn't always the case, there are instances when breaking up is really the very best thing that can happen to you:

When you analyze the other person's personality, habits, weaknesses, and bad points... you can now see they really weren't the type of person you wanted to deal with day in and day out, for the rest of your life. In the beginning, they were able to hide these negative points from you because the relationship was new and fresh. But as you began to learn more about them, you realized they were seriously flawed. It had been a constant barrage of one embarrassing, frustrating and aggravating experience after another. This should help you to realize life is too short to live that way.

You now realize your partner was very controlling. Whether they were aware of it or not, they were a very dominating person when it came to you. You always felt stifled and reserved when they were around. It seemed as if you were constantly losing ground in your life and had to give up much that was important to you in order to keep them "happy". And it seemed as if the more control they took over you, the more they wanted from you.

You can now pursue more of your passions, dreams, wishes and goals. Ideas or anything you are excited about and thinking about pursuing for the first time, are now within your reach. It wasn't that your partner was so much denying you the pleasure of experiencing these things, but they would discourage you in such a way you wouldn't have enjoyed them, even if you had pursued them.

Now, you are able to focus on yourself, who you are and who you want to grow to be. It seemed you were spending so much of your time and effort into trying to please your partner you lost sight of taking care of yourself. It's perfectly acceptable to want to do bits and pieces for others, but it isn't acceptable if they take up so much of your time you never have any left over for yourself.

Now, you can take all the time you like; time that was being unnecessarily taken away from you previously, and place it on yourself and your dreams.

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How To Attract Women If You Are Ugly - Its Easier Than You Think

If you think you are ugly and can't seem to attract women then there is hope for you yet. You see real attraction with women often has nothing to do with looks, money or fame. Women don't think like men do. Men are very superficial beings where as women often look a lot deeper to have their needs met.

Ask any woman what she finds most attractive in a man and the answer, about 90% of the time is confidence. That's right, confidence and not physical attractiveness. Now there is a reason why good-looking guys generally tend to find it easier to attract women and it's actually not because of their looks but because of the way they think, their mindset.

Usually good-looking men are aware of the fact that they are attractive and hence their self-esteem and self-confidence around women is very high and so, because women like confidence they often get the girl.

Now I was a good-looking guy though I always doubted myself. I used to be very insecure about my looks and required a lot of external validation from women. This insecurity made me look needy and the confidence was just not there. Not surprisingly I didn't have much luck with women back then.

What it really came down to was a whole host of self-limiting beliefs about myself and about what women thought of me. Those beliefs were sapping me of my self-confidence and I was afraid to approach or even talk to beautiful women because of a fear of being rejected. My old thinking was that 'I wasn't good enough" or that "they were too hot for me". Can you see how ridiculous that way of thinking really it? Don't you see how no guy would have any success with women thinking that way?

So if you think you're ugly, who says? Because I'm here to tell you that the only person who can say that is you. Even if a woman has told you that you are physically unattractive or even if society in general has rejected you for your looks, the only person who can validate that is you. If you accept that to be true and believe that you are ugly, then you are ugly. Whatever the reality is, your beliefs will always be true for you.

You may have already missed countless opportunities where a woman thought you were attractive but because you didn't believe it, you couldn't see the signals she was sending you.

Once you change your beliefs about your attractiveness you'll find that whether others think you are ugly or not won't matter and you'll be attracting women left, right and center.

Relationships: What Is A Relationship Triangle?

When it comes to a relationship there are typically two people involved. And what goes on in this relationship is primarily between these two individuals. This could be between: lovers, friends, colleagues or family.

And this relationship it is almost certain to lead to moments or stories being shared and expressed to other people.

This is a natural part of the human experience; what is shared could be to do with the good times that have been experienced and even the challenges that have been faced together.

The Good Times

When the good times are shared with other people, no drama is likely to be created; with there simply being an exchange of what has happened with another person. Of course, if the good times are shared to elicit a negative reaction from another person, then this may not be the case.

Perhaps one is trying to make the other person jealous or desirous of the experiences that have been shared with another person. However, when it comes to sharing the good times or the times that are functional to one's life, it is usually with the best of intentions.

The Challenges

On the other side of the equation, there will inevitably be moments that are challenging. And this could range from mild to extreme abuse; to a situation that has caused annoyance or stress.

With one then talking about what the other person has said; to how another has acted and their behaviour. Relationships are where our growth as humans begins is; so this is normal and not something to feel ashamed or gully about.

Here one could be asking for another's advice or opinion on how to respond or deal with a challenging situation. Or one might be just looking for another person to listen and mirror back what they are feeling.

And if this is done in a way that results in a solution being achieved and not in sides being taken; then it should result in one's well being and internal equilibrium returning.

Relationship Triangle

When this doesn't happen, it will inevitably lead to a relationship triangle. And what this means, is that instead of a solution or progress being made; things will probably get worse. And although it originally started or as a two way problem there is not another person involved.

Consequences

And it doesn't have to stop there; it could also extend into many more people. This is a recipe for drama and dysfunction to ensue. Drama is the operative word here and this is because relationship triangles will often only create more problems. One of the primary reasons these types of relationships exist, is due to nonexistent boundaries.

Boundaries

Boundaries are what allow one to know where they begin and end and where another begins and ends; this is one's own personal bubble and sacred space. Here one knows the difference between others thoughts and emotions and their own thoughts and emotions for example.

When these don't exist or have not been developed to a certain degree; it will lead to people not being able to recognise another person's boundaries and personal space. And just like when there is not a fence or marker around someone's garden or property; violations are going to happen.

Taking Sides

This also means that due to the other person only hearing what the person says who is creating the triangle; there will be very little objectivity and awareness around the whole story. Here one will be seen as the victim and the other as the perpetrator.

And this then elevates one to the level of being innocent and the other as being at fault; which in turn removes the triangle maker's responsibility.

Associations

Our ego mind has associations of what everything means. And these associations will be coloured by everything that has occurred up until this point in our life. The relationships we have had, the pain and pleasure we have experienced and the type of childhood that we had; will all play their part in influencing our associations.

What a word means, what an action means, and the behaviour others are all being interpreted through our ego mind. The challenge here is that the associations one's mind has are not the truth. They could relate to what is going on, but they can just as easily be completely wrong.

This is another reason relationship triangles create more drama. Here the third person is highly unlikely to understand what has happened, especially as there are only hearing one side of the story. So at best they are working with incomplete information.

Projection

And with relationships being a vital part in one's life, it is clearly important gain as much clarity as possible and to look at both sides. The third person will interpret everything they hear through their own ego mind and this means that their projections will be thrown into the mix.

However, in order for this person to get involved in a triangle in the first place, it shows that they have boundaries problems themselves and are not very aware. So this triangle becomes an opportunity for them to release all of their emotions onto something else and to avoid taking responsibility for them.

Communication Problems

What should have been between two people has extended out and has ended up including more people. This shows that there are communication problems to begin with. And as a result of this, one has looked outside for assistance.

This could be due to many reasons: perhaps this person doesn't want to face what is happening and so looks to others for support. It could be that their ego mind has held onto a story and will therefore cause one to seek only people that will agree with their version and to avoid anyone who will disagree.

The ego mind will do this because it has associated ones version of the story as what is safe and to see another side will then feel threatening to their ego minds sense of safety and survival.

Being Right

The ability to be objective and to see another person's point of view will then be lost. And the ego mind only cares about being right, as being right means surviving.

Awareness

To be a conscious human being means that we are the observers of our mind and that we don't have to be trapped by it. Of course we are only human and can't do this all the time. But by being aware of how our ego mind works we can chose another way.

One can hold onto their ego minds view and create triangles, that ultimately create drama and pain or one can seek proper assistance through a friend with functional boundaries, or a psychologist or therapist or even a book. And this assistance will lead to a resolution and this could mean that end of a relationship or a deeper and more fulfilling one appearing.

The reason one creates these triangles in the first place is probably due to observing their caregivers when they were younger and then copying this behaviour. This then becomes the only model they have. These models can change and this is why awareness is so important.

This news article is brought to you by WOMEN'S BLOG - where latest news are our top priority.

Basic Text Messages That Will Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Guaranteed!

If you're planning to get your ex boyfriend back through text, then you need to know that there are some problems associated with this plan when you start out. For one thing, what you say or mean can be misconstrued through text. So, if you want to get the right message across, then you have to stick to the basics when texting your ex boyfriend. Below are the following basic text messages that you can use.

Basic Text Message No. 1: "You're awesome."

Texting small and simple compliments can help you get your ex boyfriend back. This would be particularly true if you haven't sent him any messages that show that you are still interested in him yet. You may have suspicions about him knowing, but nonetheless, make sure to send him compliments. There's no harm in showing him that he's appreciated, after all.

Basic Text Message No. 2: "I love spending time with you."

A line as simple as this can go a long way. Whether it's because he makes you laugh or because he shares interesting stories, your ex boyfriend will appreciate it if you show him that you love what he's doing, even if they're pretty mundane.

Basic Text Message No. 3: "Would you want to work things out between us?"

Your ex boyfriend, just like any guy out there, is no mind reader. So, if you want him to know that you want to get your ex boyfriend back, ask him if he's interested in working things out between you two in the future. By doing this through text, you are showing him that you're still interested without being too demanding or anything.

Basic Text Message No. 4: "Let's hang out sometime."

If your ex boyfriend agrees to "hang out" with you, then you just bagged the opportunity to remind him just what a great person you are. Even if you're just going out as friends, this would be your chance. Try to crack some funny jokes or throw some remarks that are in line with his interests and he'll have his attention on you the whole day.

Basic Text Message No. 5: 'I'm sorry."

Last but not the least, apologizing to your ex boyfriend, whether it was your fault your relationship ended or not, is an absolute must. If it was his fault, you still have to apologize because you might have still played a role in it. This is extremely important if you want to get your ex boyfriend back.

This article is brought to you by FREE DATING SITES.

4 Steps to Attract a Good Man

What is a good man?

Where can I find this so called good man that everyone's talking about?

These are the questions that I am usually bombarded with. Well, ladies I have great news! There are good men all around you.

I know that you're probably saying to yourself, "Erica, if there are good men all around me why am I still single? Why haven't I found a good man yet?"

Well in order for you to attract a man you must first believe deep down inside that there are good men in the world. I recently had a conversation with a beautiful woman and was discussing finding a man. She was still so angry at her ex-husband and her previous boyfriend that she didn't believe that there were any men in the world. She believed that all men were liars and cheaters. I gently told her that the reason she wasn't attracting any right men were because she had a deep rooted belief that all men were liars and cheaters.

The next step in attracting a man is to get clear on what a good man is. Every woman has a different definition of a right man. For example, one of my client's definitions of a man is a man who is financially independent, has a college degree, and will pay the mortgage. Your definition may be totally different. I personally believe that a good man should know how to fix cars. He should at least be able to change the oil.

The third step in attracting a good man is to be a good woman. Every man needs a good woman. So now that you have gotten clear on what a man is, is there anything that you need to work on as a woman? Maybe you need to learn how to cook because you believe that a man deserves a home cooked meal every day after work. Maybe you need to work on being able to communicate your opinion without nagging.

The fourth step in attracting a good man is to make yourself available to him. For some strange reason the women I work with feel as if they can sit at home or go to the same places and find someone. This is not always true. Sometimes you have to change your routine and go where your man would hang out.

Mr. Right Attraction Assignment

1. Believe that there are good men in the world.
2. Get clear on your definition of a good man.
3. Become a good woman so that you can attract that right man into your life.
4. Make yourself available to him.

This article is brought to you by DATE.

Dealing With Breaking Up - 3 Suggestions for Guys Who Have Been Dumped

It's certainly no fun to be dumped. No one is going to put that on their bucket list of things that they want to do and experience in life, that's for sure. But, the fact of the matter is that it happens and it is something that you are going to have to try and deal with. Guys who allow a simple break up to totally devastate them are not the ones that tend to have good experiences when it comes to dating and you definitely don't want to rank yourself amongst that crowd, do you?

Here are 3 suggestions for guys who have been dumped so that you can deal with the break up as best you can:

1) Don't get jealous the moment that you hear that your ex girlfriend is now seeing someone else.

That is a big thing to have to digest, the fact that your ex girlfriend is now in the arms of another, but getting jealous about it isn't going to do you any good. It's not going to bring her back, and it is certainly not going to make you feel good about the situation. Just take it for what it is, a signal that she is trying to move on and maybe a sign that you need to do the same.

2) Don't be so focused on finding the next relationship.

It's not uncommon for guys to want to hop right into a new relationship the moment the old one comes to an end, and although that might seem like the best thing to do, it rarely is. It's usually much better to stay single for a little while so you can get your head on straight. If you don't, you might just find that you end up back in another relationship that is doomed for failure.

3) Take care of some things that you want to take care of that have nothing to do with dating.

You probably have some goals or some hobbies that you haven't been able to give all your attention to because you were in a relationship. This can be a good time to take care of those goals or to have some fun with those hobbies now that you don't have to think about someone else. Take some time to do the things that you want to do and see that you can still have a pretty good time even if you are not in a relationship right at the moment.

This news article is brought to you by GOING GREEN NEWS - where latest news are our top priority.

Finding an Online Dating Website

Finding a dating website online is something that many people don't spend very much time thinking about when trying to date online. The thing is that there are so many dating websites out there today and many of them are really no good or simply scam sites. This is why you want to be very careful when signing up with just any old dating site and be sure that you do your research and find one that is very well-known and also has a good reputation with other customers.

The great thing about the internet today is that even though it can be a tough decision since there are so many dating sites out there, you can also find many review sites at the same time. We suggest viewing at least one good dating review site before deciding on which dating website to sign up with. These review sites offer in-depth reviews of the best dating websites so that you can make a much more informed decision on which one is actually the very best fit for you and your needs.

One of the most important things that you can do in order to find the right dating site is to figure out exactly what you're looking to get out of it. If you really have no idea of any specific characteristics that you might be looking for out of a dating website then it will make it much tougher to decide which one will help you find a perfect match for you. So the goal will be to figure out certain qualities that the dating website has to have and then base everything that you look at off of that. This will make for a much quicker and more accurate decision-making process.

One other thing that we wanted to mention about finding a dating website using a good review site is the fact that many of them also offer online dating guides that can give you a lot of helpful information about online dating and even on how to choose the best dating site. Once you find a strong review site, be sure to take the time to read through it and gather all of the information that you can so that when it does come time to decide you can feel confident about your decision.

One thing to remember is that even though some sites might not be very beneficial, there are many out there that have helped thousands of people find the love of their life. Do not be discouraged from using a dating site just be sure that you do your research and find dating websites that have been positively reviewed and have been proven to be successful when it comes to the specific characteristics that you are looking for.