Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Three Chairs Conflict Resolution

Conflict is part of human life. Conflict is a disharmony between parties. The causes of conflict are usually derived from a few basic areas. These include communication issues, differences in values or interests, lack of resources, personality clashes, power conflicts and differences in expectations.

It can be argued that conflict, and the resolution of conflict has helped with human evolution. Resolution usually brings in a greater understanding between parties and perhaps a bonding of the former adversaries. That is why one should not automatically fear conflict. Keep in mind that a conflict's resolution can improve relationships. Look forward to the positive ending.

Just like there are numerous ways a conflict could start, there are multiple ways to resolve the conflict. There is no single best method to conflict resolution. Each situation will have its own unique blend of possible solutions.

Some of the more common approaches to conflict resolution are: collaborative, compromising, accommodating, competition and avoiding. Ideally, the goal in conflict resolutions is to adopt an approach that meets the circumstances of situation, resolves the problem, respects all parties' legitimate interests, and mends any damaged relationships. Understanding the genesis of a conflict usually helps with effectively navigating and ultimately resolving the conflict.

Each person has their own perspective that is developed from past experiences and beliefs. Humans have developed a filtering system to pick out a few of the billions of bits of information we experience each second. Those filters help us make sense of the world. Each person has a different set of experiences and beliefs so each person has a different perspective of reality.

The first step to conflict resolution is to accept that the other party has a different perspective on the issue. One person's "map of reality" will differ from another person's "map of reality." The key to resolving a conflict is to see the situation of various perspectives.

So how can one see the situation from a different perspective? There is an excellent technique developed by the creators of NLP (Neuro Linguistics Programming).

The first step is to set up three chairs, two facing each other and one perpendicular to the other two. Label one of the first two chairs "Party One" or your name. Label the second chair "Party Two" or the other person's name. Label the third chair an "Observer."

Now, sit in the first chair (your chair) and re-experience the issue from your perspective. Make sure to ask yourself (and answer) the following; What is the problem? What would I like to say? Why is this important to me? What would I consider as success and failure?

Next, sit in the second chair (the other party's chair) and re-experience the issue from their perspective. Step into them and try to see things the way they would see the situation. Practice your empathy. Make sure to ask and answer, from their perspective, the following; What is the problem? What would they like to say? Why is this important? What is considered success and failure?

Finally, sit in the last chair. Take the perspective of someone who is outside the situation, an unbiased observer - and a wise observer at that. Replay the interaction between the parties. From this perspective, ask: What is it that I see? What do I want for both persons sitting in the other chairs? What are the truly important things to consider? What does each party need to consider about the situation from the other party's perspective?

This exercise is designed to expand a person's perspective on the issues involved in a situation/conflict. Once a person can see things from another person's perspective, they will be open to reconsider their position or accept parts of the other person's position. This will lead to the possibility of compromise or collaboration.

Conflict will happen. It is important to develop skills to mitigate conflict. The "three chair" exercise is an excellent technique that helps expands one's perspective on the situation. Understanding that others have a different view is the first step to resolving conflict.



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Relationship Advice for Men - Relationships Are Going to Be Full of Surprises

While there are not many things in this life that are certain, one thing is for sure. No matter what, any relationship that you are in with a woman is bound to be full of surprises. You might like some of them, you might detest some of them, and some of them might just end up leaving you feeling quite confused. However, you do have to take them as they come and you have to deal with them in a healthy way if you want things to last between you and the woman you are in a relationship with.

What are some of the better surprises that you might find?

Well, for one, you may find that the woman you end up with is better than you even imagined. That wouldn't be too bad, now would it? You might also find that you get to know things about her that you would have never guessed were true, those little surprises that make you smile and feel like she is really incredible and you are glad to have her in your life.

What are some of the surprises that you may not like?

This is where things take a different turn, but you have to realize that these kinds of surprises can just as easily happen as the good ones. You might find out that after all the time and energy that you put into trying to make the relationship work, that the woman you are dating isn't really happy and she doesn't really feel the same way about you. That's not a surprise that one would want to hear about.

Another common situation is to find out that your girlfriend has been seeing someone else. You can bet that this is not going to be something that is easy to digest. Still, it does happen and you have to be prepared for the fact that it could occur. That way, you are a little more likely to do whatever you can to make sure that it does not happen.

You have to take the good with the bad and the fact of the matter is, you never really know exactly how things are going to turn out. However, for most people, that is kind of the allure of getting to know someone, starting things out with them and seeing how it will go. But, if you are hoping that things are always going to be the same and that you are not going to ever get surprised, think again!

Learning To Write A Great Profile

What is the all time secret to getting more people than you ever could have possibly imagined responding to your emails online?

The answer to this all-enlightening question is an answer that may just surprise all you men out there. If you want to pick up and meet females whom are the most beautiful and of the absolute highest quality, then what you are going to need to do and accomplish first and foremost is to make sure that you write a profile of the absolute highest quality with no mistakes whatsoever.

That's right. Many of you might be incredibly surprised that the messages we compose or the photos that we choose so carefully are actually less important than the actual profiles we compose.

But there is a simple reason for this and that reason is easy to understand if you know anything about what makes women of all ages attracted to men. It mainly comes down to a basic and simplistic understanding of science and how the female brain responds to attraction.

Females are usually and mainly attracted to men for what is on the inside. When I say the inside, what I am referring to is our personalities and internal qualities. It is these features that make women feel an attraction to us.

A good example of this would be if I were to show myself in my profile writing as a man that is a protector of women. Females are programmed by evolution to respond to males out there whom serve as protectors. By communicating this very important internal quality I am making myself much more desirable and creating an attraction within the women I am attempting and trying hard to date.

Unfortunately, the sad truth of life is that millions and millions of men all around the world don't try to get the most beautiful and fantastic women out there because they believe they were not born good looking enough to pull off this feat. They make the same mistake most guys make of thinking that looks are the determining factor of whether or not a woman likes you.

This is simply not true and must be understood. So the next time you log on to your favorite online dating site and are preparing to pick up women, first take a look at the profiles that you may have written a long time ago and make sure they are up to speed. It is only after we have a fantastic profile that any true progress can actually be made in the online dating universe.



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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

How the Male Mind Works and What They Would Love to See in Women

Do you have trouble decoding how the male mind works most of the time? Has this inability of yours resulted in a breakup recently? Do you hate how you can't figure out how the male mind works, no matter how much you try? Well, you can find out how it works here to make sure that you find nothing but success in the world of dating from now on.

1. Men love mysterious women.

Men are never interested in women who are open books because they get bored of them quite easily. So, don't force men to get to know you right away by bombarding them with every single detail about your life. Instead, get to know them slowly and only share little bits of yourself whenever it feels right to do so.

2. Excitement is always a good thing.

Romance is supposed to be thrilling, not tedious and hard. So, why not spice up your next relationship by breaking down your barriers for a change and trying out new things? You might actually end up having a great time in the end!Plus, your man will see how adventurous you are and get addicted to the excitement that comes with being with you.

3. Be yourself.

Men don't like liars. Well, pretending to be something that you're not would definitely fall into this category. What you have to do is just act the way you want to, and your man is sure to appreciate your honesty and frankness.

4. Take good care of yourself.

This might sound simple, but it is very important. One of the things you need to know about how the male mind works is that they love women who take care of their health and their looks. So, dress well, flaunt your best assets, practice good hygiene, and don't forget to exercise.

5. Follow his pace.

Even though it takes men more time to fall for women than women do to fall for men, they do fall much harder in the end. So, give him all the time he needs to appreciate you for who you are. If you rush him into a relationship when he isn't ready yet, you could just ruin your chances with him altogether.

Keep in mind that men want all the same things that you want. They just run on different schedules. It might take some time getting used to how the male mind works, but once you understand it, you will have the key to dating success in the palm of your hands.

How the Male Mind Works - Things About Men That Will Help You Get Along Better

If you are a woman, then it is understandable if you want to learn how the male mind works. Although not every man is the same, most men do share the same characteristics, whether they admit it or not. Of course, some men have their downfalls, and others simply do not realize that they have some of these traits. In a nutshell, though, here are the most common characteristics on how the male mind works:

- Even if they are already extremely lost, men won't ask for directions. In fact, they would rather get even more lost than admit that they need help.

- Even when proof is already shoved in their faces, men will not admit to being wrong. They might admit to being a little misguided or a little wrong, but never completely.

- Even if their underwear is already worn out, they will refuse to replace them or throw them out.

- When assembling things, men will never consult the instruction manuals for guidance or help.

- Men would rather not think about certain issues. Instead, they jump in with several ideas that might work or not, based on their muscle and pure instinct.

- When women are talking, men hardly ever listen completely. They only absorb little bits of what they are saying while thinking of different things. That is just how the male mind works.

- Men love gadgets and tools and will never understand why women prefer shoes and handbags over laser levelers.

- Men love spending alone time in their garages or dens. However, a lot of women seem to think that men only do this because they are mad or do not want to spend time with them.

- Men hardly cry when they watch sappy or sad movies. If they do, they will pretend that they have allergies of some sort.

- Not a lot of men enjoy foreplay or cuddling after sex. They prefer the sexual act itself and would much rather go back to watching football afterwards than talking to their sexual partners.

- On that note, men loves watching sports, like basketball and football, and playing games, like poker. Of course, their ultimate dream would be to just always watch women wrestling... in bikinis.

How the male mind works will take some time to fully understand, but once you get into the zone of how it works, you will have a much easier time getting along with your own man in the long run.



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Monday, October 8, 2012

3 Proven Methods On How To Finally Get Over Your Ex

Lots of people are talking about and seriously discussing tried and trusted methods on how to finally get over your ex. Perhaps you have considered that enough is enough and have reached the point where you have decided it is time to finally get over your ex and move on in life. Getting over an ex can be a heartrending problem and there are probably many people offering you advice at this time. There is certainly more than one method of going about doing it but have your advisers any tried and tested methods that really do work?

No one way fills all the requirements completely. You can find several methods that could work. Each method has benefits and a few have some drawbacks and will not necessarily be easy.

For these as well as other reasons, it's a good idea to make sure you are ready to take the next step finally and try to assess the part played by you to get the big picture. Understanding the merits and drawbacks of each approach will allow you to choose wisely how you approach each of them.

Here then is a brief survey of three of the more successful approaches of how to finally get over your ex and deal with the inevitable reactions to the breakup:

The 'What Did I Do Wrong?' Question

The "what did I do wrong?" Question is going to be something you initially repeated to yourself over and over. Relationships are full of things that need sorting out as you travel through them. Sometimes, sadly however, this is not the case. Sometimes people want to develop and move in different directions so it may be just that life gets in the way. You may feel you can fix it but the first steps to getting over an ex is to understand why you are both feeling the way that you are and to get to the bottom of those feelings and you will no doubt find that you can start to let go of the idea that you are somehow to blame for everything.

The Kids Are Gone!

The kids are gone because your ex-partner has taken them when they left and you feel devastated and bitter towards your ex. While you may say to yourself, "I could not take the children away," also ask yourself, "Could I leave them?" If the answer is no, then it's fair to understand why the other person has taken them with them. It may not be right or best for the child but nonetheless it is also important to understand the maternal/paternal instincts of the person that has left. Sorting out these issues will be important but initially remember that children depend on security and familiarity and a break up is something which is going to shake that security at its foundations.

Dealing With Loneliness

When someone that you truly care about leaves you are going to have a huge void in your life. Doing hobbies and sports may not seem a great way of taking your mind off someone, but can, as part of a bigger plan, be utilized to keep your mind busy and focused on other things. Friends are the window into starting again, in helping you to pull out of the old life and start meeting someone new. A period of support is usually necessary first, so it is a good idea to try and reunite with some older friends and reconnect with life as a single person.

Naturally there are additional methods too, but these shown above are effective and will all work once you realize that it is time to let go and move on.

Good luck, and remember that this isn't the end; it's the beginning of your emotional maturity! So start taking steps today to finally get over your ex!



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How To Get A Girl To Like You

Before you can really understand how to get a girl to like you should think about the many different aspects that can come into play. There is so much information out there that I thought it would be a good idea to break down some of the main areas into some easy to read bullets. For some men this whole subject can be quite daunting so here are a few pointers to help you on you way to understand what girls like and don't like in the dating game. Some of this will be obvious but I expect that there will be a few areas that you will not have considered.

What Girls Don't Like

  • Girls don't like nervous men, take a deep breath and try to relax.
  • Girls don't like losers, don't be a liability.
  • Women don't like over confident men, you need to get the balance right.
  • Girls don't like smelly and untidy men. Personal hygiene is really important.
  • Girls don't like men who dress too differently from them. You need to be acceptable to her social group.
  • Girls like compliments but not too many, try to pay attention to small details about he i.e. compliment her hair, nails etc
  • Girls don't like men who seek approval, don't be needy.
  • All women are different they don't like being treated the same way as other women.

What Girls Do Like

  • Girls like men that make them feel safe.
  • Women like social men i.e. excepted socially in their own circle.
  • Girls like confident men have their own life.
  • Women like a man who can act naturally and are comfortable being them self.
  • Girls like men who are able to make them feel comfortable while talking to them.
  • Girls like exciting men but also like safety, you need to carefully balance this one out.
  • All women prefer men that look good, obvious one.
  • Women love men that make them feel valuable.
  • Girls like to flirt just as much as men do.
  • Girls like the thrill of the chase as much as men do.
  • Girls like a challenge, don't give yourself away too soon. Take your time as we all want more of what we can't have.
  • Women prefer men that are direct and don't mess around, ask her out.
  • Girls like dynamic, exciting men that make an impression. The more captivating or unpredictable you are the more they may want to spend time with you.
  • Girls like men that pay attention to them, listen and speak to them with sincere interest.
  • Girls like a man who can be a friend to her at same time a being a lover.
  • Girls like to be romanced, be romantic but don't go over the top.
  • Girl like men to compliment them but not too much. Don't put her on a pedestal.
  • I've not met a girl yet who doesn't like a man that makes her laugh.
  • Women love men who pay attention to small details about them.

While this list is not exhaustive it should hopefully steer you onto path the provides you with a number of clear areas that you can look into further to increase your chances when trying to get a girl to like you. Please remember that all girls are different so some ideas that may work well for one may not for others. If there was a sure fire formulae that told you exactly what women want I would find it, bottle it and make a fortune. I hope you have fun trying some of these ideas out. If you want to look deeper into some of the ideas presented there is lots of other information that can found on the How To Get The Girls website. Happy dating!