Men want love as bad as women do. They just might not always be as obvious about it. But generally, they want the same thing. Friendship. Companionship. Chemistry. So why, you might wonder, is there so much confusion and miscommunication between the sexes?
Rules. Some that have been handed down to us through the generations. Others are the ones we 'see' to be true. And of course, there are the ones written from our own personal history.
No matter how you slice the pie, there are some universal man-rules that you will find inscribed on the walls of caves long ago. They still ring true today.
Praise. Men adore women who shower them with adulation. Just like a puppy. They love to be gooed at. Keeps their tails wagging. Happy dogs. Happy men. Praise is like candy. Good for everyone.
Nagging. They hate it. Tell them once what you want. You have a 50-50 chance it will be done.
Or that they even heard. Tell them more than that within a 24 hour period and it's called nagging. Ears grow so much wax, you can start a museum. You don't have a chance in hell. Complain to your mother. Give him dirty looks. Close the kitchen and the bedroom. But whatever you do, don't nag.
Crying. They really hate it. They have no defense. You finally get him to have a serious talk, and you start crying because you don't like how it's going. Well girlfriend. You killed that one. Not only is the discussion over, but you put him in a lose-lose situation. If he ignores your emotions, he's insensitive. Man-up. Finish the talk, then cry to the dog. Or a friend. Or to him. But only if you can praise him while you cry. Remember. They love praise.
Where is this relationship going? Really? You have eyes. Use them. It's obvious. You just don't want to face it, so you're making him do the dirty work and spit it out. Take the cue. Use that spine you know you have and do what you have to do. If he doesn't like it, he'll fight like holy hell to get you back.
Food. His mother knew the way to his heart. And if she didn't, here's your opportunity. Men love to eat. And be served. If you like to cook, you lucked out on this one. If you don't, you're a dummy, if you can't find take-out that will look, taste and smell like homemade.
Action Jacksons. Men either love to be on the move or watch other men move. Mostly on TV or at a stadium. Either way. They need it. And they'll love you for it if you don't complain about it. You can even go as far as telling them how wonderful it is and how good it is for them.Keep score of how many times you've sent him off with a smile. You can use it later and he'll be good for it. He has a high respect for a woman who knows the importance of giving him space when he needs it.
Sex. Psst. It's good for both of you. Keeps the connection. Relieves stress and tension. He'll be putty in your hands. Totally worth it. Cook a meal for him after and he'll be so happy, he might even cry.
Relinquish the Need For Control. Worse than anything, a man hates when a woman is constantly trying to control every situation. He's made the wrong turn. This way would have been faster. Or better. It's emasculating. Degrading. To both you and him. You're not very fun or pretty when you're controlling. It's really about you. Not him. Until you get a grip on your fears, or whatever it is that's making you work this ugly trait, your relationship will suffer. Let him be the man. You're with him for a reason. He's capable. Let him prove it. He'll love you for it.
The Power Of Touch. Touch heals. It's the unspoken words of forgiveness, love, warmth, compassion. We can all use a little. Especially to show the ones we love that we care. We know what's important at the end of the day. Don't forget this one. It's a goodie. Men crave it. Makes them closer to you and they will touch back.
Love. Love. And More Love.Tell him. Hug him. Text him. Laugh with him. Oogle him. Leave love notes in the bathroom. Or in his car. Wherever. All the time. You'll get it back in spades. It's contagious and it keeps all the reasons you chose each other...the special spark glowing bright!
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