Afraid Of Losing Your Friendship To Become Lovers?

When your afraid of losing your friendship to become lovers your exploring the fact that you already love this person, because who doesn't love their friends? Is becoming lovers worth losing your friendship? Maybe you're concerned that if it doesn't work out you won't be able to hang out with the group of friends you both hang out with. I've been there and I hope my story helps you figure it out.

In high school at the age of 16 I lost my 19 year old brother and 17 year old boyfriend in a car accident. Needless to say, I was needing my friends to keep me going and that's when my brothers friend introduced me to one of his close friends named Mark who only lived a mile or two from me in rural Kentucky.

We always hung out and would go everywhere together. After about of year of hanging out all the time, I started noticing that I was getting jealous when he would bring another girl along and she was riding in my seat in the front. I had other guys interested in me so I decided to see if I could make him jealous by dating them but he would only do little things like tell them they better treat me right or answer to him, and he even beat up a dude who pushed me once.

In between break ups, his and mine, we would always resume hanging out together, but by this time I knew I was in love with him but couldn't figure out if he was in love with me or not and I found myself wondering if I wanted to screw up our friendship. This guy had seen me go through the loss of my brother and boyfriend and I didn't know if he felt a sense of responsibility, or pity, or what was going on in his heart except he must like my company too.

I was so close with him that I had a terrible nightmare about him being in a wreck and rolling through a field and even knew which road he was on. The next morning I jumped out of bed and called him telling him about this dream I had and to my shock, he told me it had happened and it was on the same road too.

Then one day I was talking to my girl friend and she looked at me and said, "all you've talked about is Mark this, and Mark that, you're in love with him, aren't you?" I don't know why but I started crying and let it all out. I told her how one day it just hit me, like waking up, but I didn't know how to tell him and I didn't want to ruin our friendship. The funny thing was she had always thought Mark loved me but I was the one keeping him away. Being afraid of losing your friendship to become lovers is a very tricky situation. I would always wonder if I kissed him would it be like kissing my brother, or would I see fireworks?

Well my friend and her big mouth went and told Mark everything. She called to let me know he was on his way to my house because he had felt the same way about me. When I answered the door he was standing there with his arms crossed his chest and backed up against the railing smiling at me and he said "well, don't you have something to tell me?" and I went into his arms and I just started telling him how I was afraid of losing our friendship and how I didn't know if he felt the same way and he just kissed me and... I seen fireworks!

We dated for a summer and it was great but we never became lovers because I wouldn't give into him because I was still waiting on those three little words he would never say and that always bothered me but I stood strong and just waited. One Friday night he stood me up and I just knew he had went out with someone else. So Saturday night when he showed up, I broke up with him and he knew why! I am so glad we didn't become lovers because it would have ruined our friendship. Some people can look you in the eye and tell you"I love you" but I knew he couldn't. I love you is thrown around these days like it means nothing but when I was a teenager 30 years ago, it meant "I love you"!

If Mark and I would have became lovers, I would have lost that friendship. That Friday night would have left a scar on my heart that no friendship would ever endure. We are still friends after 30 years and are friends on FB and still keep in contact. He was a great guy, but he just couldn't be faithful. I think I always knew that deep down in my heart and that's why I was afraid of losing my friendship to become lovers to begin with. We always stayed friends and hung out together and I have always loved him and I think he has always loved me... as friends!

When you become lovers you open yourself up completely and become emotionally, physically and mentally attached to your partner and when that relationship fails the friendship is lost also, unless you're one of these people who can do that. I, for one, am an emotional person and could never have withstood the heartbreak of losing my friendship and my lover at the same time.

My best advice on being afraid of losing your friendship to become lovers is to trust your instincts. Ask yourself if you're willing to lose the friendship if it doesn't work out? Remember to be able to love someone else, you must love yourself first. After all, if you don't love yourself then why would anybody else love you?

This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.