Is jealously in a relationship threatening your happiness? Do you get anxious when your significant other goes out with friends? Does it upset you when your significant other is getting attention from the opposite sex? If you have jealousy in your relationship it can be an unwanted companion that can threaten to break up an otherwise healthy relationship. To prevent jealousy from ruining your relationship you need to address it head on and remove it.
What are the Causes of Jealousy?
Jealousy can take many forms. Sometimes it is warranted and at other times it is the product of insecurities and an overactive imagination. Most relationships will experience some degree of jealousy by one or both parties. However, when it becomes a nagging third party in your everyday life it needs to be addressed or it will tear a couple apart. The underlying cause of most feelings of jealousy stems from the insecurity one might feel in a relationship. We tend to guard things closely that are near and dear to our hearts and for most people their relationship may be the most important thing in their life. It is only natural to want to protect our significant other from the competition whether it is another person, a hobby they have, their job or something else that interferes with enjoying time with the other person. However, jealously leads to arguments, accusations and unreasonable demands and inevitably discord and broken relationships. It is important to identify the causes of jealous feelings and deal with them before they become relationship threatening.
Jealousy Can Create Resentments
Accusing your partner of behavior you label as unfaithful because you are jealous will often cause them to form resentments. Resentments can quickly replace feelings of affection and love and cause a person to want out of a relationship. If you are guilty of jealous feelings because your partner is simply nice to members of the opposite sex then you need to put a lid on those feelings because they will drive the other person away from you. On the other hand, if you are with someone who is a shameless flirt and doesn't care that it hurts your feelings, you are probably not with the right person and you need to move on because this behavior goes to a personality trait they have that will probably never go away no matter how much you complain or nag. If you are dating a narcissist then they won't care anyway since they believe the world revolves around them. However, if your significant other is simply being civil, polite or conversational then you need to examine your own motives for feeling jealous and learn to deal with them if you expect to have a healthy relationship.
When to Talk it Over
If you and your partner experience unhealthy jealous feelings that threaten your relationship you have to get the issues out in the open. The best time to do that is not when some action on their part triggers jealous emotions on your part, but after the fact when you are alone and in an environment where you can talk openly about your feelings. However, it is best to bring up your concerns as soon as possible after then event so your feelings don't accumulate. You need to be able to discuss specifics because just labeling general behavior is not useful is finding solutions to specific behaviors that you find upsetting.
You May Need Counseling
Sometimes you and your partner simply can't agree on the issues that cause jealous emotions. If all you do is argue about it and you want to improve or save your relationship you should consider seeking out counseling since jealous feelings often provoke some of the harshest emotional reactions between people. Jealousy in a relationship is often one of the most difficult relationship problems to cure because people simply don't see themselves the same way their partner may see them. However, if you want a long term happy relationship without resentment, jealously will need to be addressed and eliminated.
This article is brought to you by Relationships Advice Blog.
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