Moving on after divorce is harder than it looks. There is so much feeling at stake when a married couple decides to get divorced. It is correct that you have actually earned the right to feel down. However you need to bounce back into life at some point in time. What had happened is difficult for you and your kids and for those people who are also involved in what you are going through. Once you are ready to date again, you need to talk with your kids heart to heart.
This is a very sensitive issue no matter how old your children may be. They may be but still the same amount of sensitivity and care should be there when you decide to tell them you want to start dating again.
Love Them And Love Yourself
Your kids are more clairvoyant of how you feel better than you actually know. They can tell if you are happy or if you are in pain. After what they have been through, they are smarter now. That is why it is best that you let them know that you are doing much better than before. Show them that you are happy just being yourself and being with them. Show them that you can still care for them even if you are not together with their dad. They look up to their parents as people who are strong. Being happy and contented even without a man in your life will make them see that you are a strong woman and they will love and appreciate you more.
Divorce is a critical matter. For sure you have lots of things going on in your life. But you have to find it in your heart to think not only of how you are feeling but also what your kids are feeling. Begin bonding with your kids as early as now. Make them feel loved and important. Make them feel they are part of your life. This will make them feel safe, secured and loved. So when the time eventually comes that you will tell them you are ready to go out and meet other people, hostility will be far from their minds.
Be Sure You Are Ready To Date
It is not necessary that you introduce your kids to every guy that you date. But introduce them to the person you are really connecting with. Take your time and make sure that you pick the right time to introduce the guy you are currently seeing to your kids.
The Talk
Having heart to heart talk with your kids is effective. Be certain that before you do anything, have "the talk" with your kids. Explain to them that you are going to be seeing friends soon but it doesn't mean that they are not important anymore and if they do not agree with what you are planning they should say so you'll be able to answer their concerns. Let them know that you are not looking for somebody to trade their dad or anything like that. Make them understand that whatsoever it is that you'll be doing, they will always be on the top of your priorities.
Moving on after split up is fierce but it can be harder if you do not play it right, especially when it comes to your kids. Make them feel important and loved from the very beginning and you'll see that everything will work out from there. Be frank and be very careful about your conduct when dating again. It may be a harsh reality but you now have kids to think about.
This article is brought to you by Relationships Advice Blog.
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