Reconciling With Your Husband

The wedge between you and your husband must have widened to such an extent that you do not feel intimacy with your husband on a physical or emotional level. However, you would like to reverse the status and get back together with him. If this is so, then it would depend to an extent on the degree of animosity in the relationship and whether getting back together is really possible.

There must have been several things, which you might have tried off the cuff but evidently didn't have the effect you were looking for. Listed below are some tips to crossing that bridge:

1. Provide him with that much needed personal space without him worrying what you are doing or what you might be thinking. Let him go out with his friends, allow him to watch the sports channels or be engaged in working on his car at his garage. If you are around him constantly and he feels like he is living in a cage where he does not get an opportunity to explore his personal passions, it can drain him emotionally.

2. Try maintaining minimum contact after the break up, as it provides both of you an opportunity of weeding through the emotions objectively. It is important to give him space so that he can work through his own emotions. There is no point in contacting him constantly and trying to act like a nanny and reasoning with him in reasons for the break up. Treat him like a grown up and allow him that space. You will find that the time off has helped both of you in sorting things out. If on the other a hand, contact is attempted, it can destroy whatever chances the relationship has of getting back on track.

3. Both of you should try to carry out a self introspection. This is no time to decide who is exactly at fault or pin blame on each other. Both of you need to be large hearted and assume responsibility for working on your faults. Listen to each other, try and understand each other's issues and try to work out a wholesome solution without nagging about the issue. Treat your husband with a bit more love and care.

4. Try to rearrange your priorities. Your work schedule might have made you lose out on spending time with your husband. Set aside time to be around him so that both of you can bond in activities. The effort should be mutual since this will only work out if the act is done whole heartedly and both of you are investing time in resolving all your issues.

5. The key to managing all fights and major issues is in having patience to hear your husband through without interrupting in between. This provides two advantages; One is that you are aware of the feeling that caused distress in your husband and the reason for the decreased intimacy. Second, is that you have satisfied his ego by giving him a chance to be heard. During these discussions, try to maintain a semblance of peace and avoid histrionics of any nature.