Relationship Advice - Getting Over Resentment In Your Marriage

Many married couples face strenuous issues in their marriage, one of which can be resentment. The dictionary defines resentment as being bitter about something or simply having a bad feeling, anger or displeasure, a sense of injury over a certain incident. There are many areas where this can occur.

Getting over resentment is never easy... especially in a marriage where there is so much more at stake than there is a friendship. That is because couples enter into marriage with various expectations which they really never share with their partner. Also, the newlyweds have the tendency of centering their happiness around romance. When conflict does arise, they are not prepared for how to deal with it in a healthy manner.

A healthy marriage is one where both partners feel appreciated and good about themselves. Whenever resentment shows its ugly face, spouses tend to blame the other and try to change their partner into something they believe will make them feel better.

Here are a few useful points that will help couples overcome resentment whenever it shows up:

Communication. Communication is the key to solving any marriage problem. It is the first step in solving any resentment that might show up. Lack of communication or miscommunication, is one of the major causes of resentment. Couple should listen, validate and respond to their spouse in a loving and caring way. Couples should not expect the other to be a mind reader and should always communicate to let the other know what to expect.

Forgive. For better or worse, spouses should be willing to forgive and forget... if at all possible. A simply "I'm sorry" is the easiest way to ask for forgiveness, but it does not automatically mean one should be forgiven until the individual is willing to change and show they regret whatever their poor choices were.

Appreciation. Couples should never take one another for granted. This often occurs after many years of marriage. Romance seems to fade right away and the sparkle dies down. So often, much that helped one fall in love is no longer there, and this can cause resentment as one feels less appreciated.

Stress. Life stresses, either from work or family issues, can find its way into marriage. This can lead to poisoning a marriage with resentment. Try to find out the cause of the stress and manage it before it goes that far. Help from a marriage counselor should be utilized immediately if things get out of hand and may be necessary to save the marriage.