Wondering why are you still single? Simple answer: Fear. Fear can manifest itself in many ways, one way is having unrealistic expectations by looking for something you know deep down doesn't really exist. Looking for something that does exist gives you the perfect reason to justify why your last relationship didn't work out, and not face the real source of the problem which is fear. Here are some common fear based reasons.
Fear of being hurt.
The truth is in order to experience the joy that love brings, a certain level of vulnerability needs to be revealed; sometimes leaving you exposed like a sitting duck. A scary thought for most chronically-single people. The problem with putting too much expectancy in one person, is that people can and will inevitably hurt you. Nobody is going to act the way you want all time. It doesn't mean the person doesn't love you, it just means they aren't your puppet. The trick is to not take it personally and have enough faith in your mate and the relationship that a little difference in opinion is not enough to make or break your bond.
Fear of being happy.
Fear of being happy may seem ridiculous but the problem with getting everything you want is that you start fearing that you may everything. Some people are so used to being miserable for so long that when their 'right' (not perfect) mate comes along, they sabotage the relationship because they think it's too good to be true.
Fear of the past.
Like I mentioned previously, some people are just used to being miserable that they fear the same thing happening again and again. Many fall into the pattern of destructive relationships because that is where they are comfortable. It's normal to fear relationships and want to stay away from them if you've been abused and hurt in the past. However its human nature to want to love and receive love so pushing away love can turn out to be even more painful.
Fear can sometimes be debilitating, but know that your biggest fears often have a way of manifesting themselves. So figure out what your fears are to begin working on them. For example my friend Rachael had a fear of rejection. When Rachael was younger she was "an ugly duckling", but even though she is now beautiful woman, those memories of being rejected in the past still play in her head. She feels unworthy of love. Every time she meets an interested man she makes up a story (not based on any known facts) about him cheating or being otherwise up to no-good just so she can dump him before he has a chance to reject her. Nobody could convince her that she's beautiful and worthy of love but herself. After pinpointing and working on her issues, through meditation and self-help techniques, Rachael was able to meet a great man to have a healthy relationship with.
Knowing who you are and what you're looking for can help you have the confidence to choose wisely and not get tangled up in relationships which are not right. Having confidence in yourself and that you've chosen the right person not based on impulsive decisions of the past, but on good sound judgment will be key. Finally have faith that once you've aligned with your desires they will come to pass.
Need help clarifying what you want in order to make good judgments? Check out He's Not Mr. Right, He's Mr. Right for YOU! to help guide your decisions and protect your heart.
Need to pracite what you'd just learned? Find your match on a free dating site.
This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment