Landing that coveted relationship status with the girl of your dreams is a task easier said than done.
For a lot of guys who have had to learn how to talk to women, getting a girlfriend is actually a harder task than having a one-night stand. The real challenge once you get to that level of consistently dating women is learning how to a get a girlfriend.
When I started out in the game, I had the exact same problem.
It was easier for me to operate in shorter "hook-up" situations than putting myself out there to create deeper relationships. Like a lot of guys, my problem was not knowing how or when to take things to the next level.
After a few failed attempts at getting a girlfriend, I noticed that I was making the same mistakes over and over again. I was forcing things and didn't let the connection grow organically.
It forced me to make drastic changes, which has taken my game to a new level.
Here are the three biggest mistakes I learned that could be hindering your budding relationships as well.
Forcing the Relationship Status
For guys who never really had any girlfriends in high school, once they start having success learning the game, they will try to make up for lost times.
Once they get in that hook-up situation with a female, a lot of these guys will try to force the issue on the girl. Sometimes it's subtle like telling his friends she's his girlfriend while other times it's more intimate - and awkward - like actually sitting her down and having "the talk".
Whatever the case may be, trying to accelerate things will only scare her off. If she's not head over heels in love with you then she will definitely be creeped out if you start thinking of her as your girlfriend after only a couple of weeks of hooking up.
Instead, what I've learned is that you should avoid defining the relationship status for as long as possible.
You need to let the feelings grown organically, so have fun just being with her.
Also, by not defining the status, often times she will bring up the subject when she thinks the time is right. This will actually put the power in your hand to decide whether or not you want to start something serious with her.
Not Having Your Inner Game Worked Out
The next biggest mistake to forcing the relationship is trying to form one without having your inner game worked out.
As human beings, we all hit low points in life and we all carry around baggage. It's life and it's what makes us who we are.
But for guys who let some of this baggage weigh them down, they let negative emotions poison their confidence and inner game.
Even if they meet a great girl, guys like this think, "She's too good for me" or "I could never make her my girlfriend". Letting these thoughts control your mindset is extremely harmful and undermines your confidence.
If you don't have confidence, you'll never be able to keep her attracted to you, making it impossible to create a long term relationship.
Also, some guys are just looking to get into relationships just for the vanity. They want to show off that they have a girlfriend.
If you go into a relationship with this mindset, more times than not, it will end badly. The lack of connection usually ends with both parties hating each other because no true bond is ever built.
Don't try and get a girlfriend for that reason. It's just scummy and shows a lack of conviction in one's inner game.
Unless the connection is sincere, don't hop into a relationship just for the hell of it.
How to Get a Girlfriend and Keep Her Interested
So you've kept your cool and not rushed the relationship and your inner game is in check.
But for some reason, you get the feeling that the girl you are hooking up with doesn't want to make things serious.
For guys like me who have experienced this, the problem may be a simple matter of keeping her interested. If your current hook-up arrangement becomes stale and expected, often times, the girl will lose interest because she no longer gets that sense of excitement from you.
Just like when you first made that approach, being an interesting and well-rounded person is integral to keeping her attention from that first meeting all the way to when she's your girlfriend.
You have to become a relevant presence in her life and you also have to integrate her into your own world.
In order to make her your girlfriend, you have to stay on her mind so a decent amount of communication is a must; just don't overdo it as you will come off as too needy. A few texts and phone calls a week will suffice.
These conversations have to do two things: convey your sincere interest into her life and give her an insight into yours.
That means asking her about her day to day activities and sharing yours - just remember to keep them fun and interesting so she will stay interested in you.
Don't be afraid to integrate her into your world in other ways as well.
Bring her out with your friends or let her wear your T-shirt when she stays over one night. The key is to start creating an "us" mentality and getting her invested in you.
The key to learning how to get a girlfriend comes down to really having your inner game worked out before you try to share that side of you with a woman. You need to make sure that you aren't acting needy by not forcing the boyfriend-girlfriend status and you need to be secure with yourself to walk away when she's just not the right person.
As long as you are sincerely interested in her and have gotten to a steady hook-up status, the trick to keeping her is to just remaining that interesting figure she first met.
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