Why Are You Still Single? Fear

Wondering why are you still single? Simple answer: Fear. Fear can manifest itself in many ways, one way is having unrealistic expectations by looking for something you know deep down doesn't really exist. Looking for something that does exist gives you the perfect reason to justify why your last relationship didn't work out, and not face the real source of the problem which is fear. Here are some common fear based reasons.

Fear of being hurt.

The truth is in order to experience the joy that love brings, a certain level of vulnerability needs to be revealed; sometimes leaving you exposed like a sitting duck. A scary thought for most chronically-single people. The problem with putting too much expectancy in one person, is that people can and will inevitably hurt you. Nobody is going to act the way you want all time. It doesn't mean the person doesn't love you, it just means they aren't your puppet. The trick is to not take it personally and have enough faith in your mate and the relationship that a little difference in opinion is not enough to make or break your bond.

Fear of being happy.

Fear of being happy may seem ridiculous but the problem with getting everything you want is that you start fearing that you may everything. Some people are so used to being miserable for so long that when their 'right' (not perfect) mate comes along, they sabotage the relationship because they think it's too good to be true.

Fear of the past.

Like I mentioned previously, some people are just used to being miserable that they fear the same thing happening again and again. Many fall into the pattern of destructive relationships because that is where they are comfortable. It's normal to fear relationships and want to stay away from them if you've been abused and hurt in the past. However its human nature to want to love and receive love so pushing away love can turn out to be even more painful.

Fear can sometimes be debilitating, but know that your biggest fears often have a way of manifesting themselves. So figure out what your fears are to begin working on them. For example my friend Rachael had a fear of rejection. When Rachael was younger she was "an ugly duckling", but even though she is now beautiful woman, those memories of being rejected in the past still play in her head. She feels unworthy of love. Every time she meets an interested man she makes up a story (not based on any known facts) about him cheating or being otherwise up to no-good just so she can dump him before he has a chance to reject her. Nobody could convince her that she's beautiful and worthy of love but herself. After pinpointing and working on her issues, through meditation and self-help techniques, Rachael was able to meet a great man to have a healthy relationship with.

Knowing who you are and what you're looking for can help you have the confidence to choose wisely and not get tangled up in relationships which are not right. Having confidence in yourself and that you've chosen the right person not based on impulsive decisions of the past, but on good sound judgment will be key. Finally have faith that once you've aligned with your desires they will come to pass.

Need help clarifying what you want in order to make good judgments? Check out He's Not Mr. Right, He's Mr. Right for YOU! to help guide your decisions and protect your heart.

Need to pracite what you'd just learned? Find your match on a free dating site.

This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.

The Easiest Way To Breakup With Your Girlfriend Or Someone Else

Falling in love is one of the most exciting feelings a person can ever feel in his entire lifetime. A man sees his girlfriend as the prettiest, sexiest, kindest lady in the world, the love of his life, the apple of his eye. But what if the relationship turns sour? We all know that a boy-girl relationship is not always for keeps. So, how does a boy break up with his girl?

It can really be very difficult to say "It's over" or "We've lost it" to the girl you have professed your love to, especially when you've been together for quite some time. You can imagine how she can feel, how it will break her heart into tiny little pieces once you say goodbye, but it has to be done. Think of it this way: it would be unfair for both of you to keep hanging on to something which no longer exists. It would be unfair for her to keep on loving you if you cannot love her back, and it would be unfair to you, because you won't have the chance to love again.

So, here are some tips on how to break up with the girl you loved once:

• First of all, do it in person. It might seem easier for you to just send her a text message or say it over the phone, but, don't you think that is totally rude? It's like calling a laundry service about terminating their services! Come on, be a man and face her. She deserves that.


• Once you come face to face, be utterly honest about what you feel, about what's going on inside your mind. Don't lie to her. Remember that you she had been a part of your life, so she deserves the right to know. If it's because of a third party, tell her. Of course, she will cry tremendously, which can make you feel so bad, but it's better if she got the truth from you than from hearing it from others.


• When you've finally made your goodbye speech, square your shoulders firmly for what's to come next. Yes, it's best to be prepared for the worst. Anticipate the volley of vindictive and hurtful words, even a slap on your face. Try to be polite and consider her feelings. She really doesn't want to hurt you, no. She just can't say "Don't leave me" or "I can't live without you" straight to your face. What if the tables were turned? Wouldn't you be terribly hurt if she was the one to leave you?

Never, ever fight back by hurling insults at her or by slapping her back. That's very disgusting. Yes, she hurt you, but you have to understand that it was just her reaction to a very stressful situation. And besides, a female's strength is no match with yours. Simply walk away without a word and don't look back.

This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.

Dating Chinese Girls - Should You Do It Their Way?

dating Chinese girls is a subject that often causes confusion and even sometimes argument among some people as to what constitutes actual Chinese culture, and real-world Chinese dating etiquette in today's day and age. This confusion is further caused by certain false assumptions by westerners, and even by Chinese girls themselves making false representation for their own benefit.

This is one of the big problems I faced for years as a westerner dating Chinese girls, the fact that many of the girls told me things that were supposedly part of Chinese culture, of course insinuating that I should follow this in order to be a good boyfriend, yet I found many of these Chinese customs were things that actually even Chinese guys didn't follow.

This creates a bit of a trap if you don't stop it in the beginning, as in Chinese culture, things do not get easier for a westerner if you follow Chinese culture, things actually get harder!

Reasonable Flexibility When Dating Chinese Girls

In fact, where mainland Chinese girls are concerned, for the most part they are not very flexibly minded at all. Most will expect their boyfriend to behave in a manner befitting a Chinese boyfriend, but if even a Chinese boyfriend would think such behavior is excessive and unreasonable; why is it that a westerner is expected to accept it?

One major difference in Chinese culture, that I and others who have lived in mainland China before have noted, is that mainland Chinese people focus rather exclusively on their own culture and the promotion of it thereof, with the idea that everyone else should accommodate their views and customs without an equal compromise.

Ask anyone who has dated or married a Chinese girl for confirmation of this fact.

This in truth is a cultural quirk from thousands of years past, where all the neighboring countries to China had to pay tribute to them, and so also follow their cultural precepts. Most mainland Chinese are not so familiar with many non-Chinese cultures as the education system simply teaches the students about Chinese culture and history, and almost exclusively ignores non-Chinese cultures in favor of its own.

It's no wonder therefore that there are numerous misunderstandings between a Chinese and non-Chinese couple.

Dating Chinese Girls Advice

Lastly, I just want you to know this, as the subject is often a question in many emails sent to me: If your Chinese girlfriend ever tells you it's Chinese culture that you should give all your salary to her each month, just know that this is what a Chinese husband might do, not a boyfriend.

Even in the case of a Chinese husband, it's not always one hundred percent of the case true, especially where he is well-off or even rich. Usually a Chinese guy who earns less than the equivalent of three hundred dollars a month will give all his salary to his wife. This is so she can budget for their life together and is also a security issue on her part.

If you are a non-Chinese with a decent salary you quite obviously do not need someone to budget for your life, and also as a non-Chinese, this situation is quite unacceptable with a Chinese girlfriend. In this case, you definitely need to firmly re-frame your Chinese girlfriends point of view.

Take my advice and be sure that both sides of the relationship compromise, otherwise I can assure you from experience it doesn't get easier, it actually gets harder for you, but better for them, and that's just not a mature or desired relationship, as I'm sure you'll agree.

This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.

How To React When Your Boyfriend Isn't Giving You Enough Time And Attention! A Must Read

Is your boyfriend no longer giving you enough time and attention? Are you frustrated with the fact that he isn't interested in you any longer? Do you fear that he might leave you? If so, don't worry. You're about to learn some psychological tricks that will make your boyfriend feel attracted to you again. It will make him spend more time with you and shower you with tons of attention and love.

Here are the sure-fire tips to make your man spend more time with you...

Distance yourself from him

This is very counter-intuitive. But it works like magic when done right. It's likely that your boyfriend has lost interest in you because the two of you have gotten very close. At first, attraction drives the two of you to get together often. With time, the attraction fades. Unless you take steps to increase the attraction, he'll begin to lose interest.

Things will get too familiar and predictable in the relationship. When this happens, any guy will lose interest in you. The best thing you can do is to create distance between the two of you. Just completely ignore him for a couple of days. Otherwise, go out with your friends more often than you'd do with him/

Do not act desperate

Most women make this very DANGEROUS mistake. Making this mistake will cause him to leave you FOREVER. Desperation will lead any man out of your life right away. Have you done any of the following?

- Constantly nagged him

- Called him repeatedly when he wasn't calling you

- Left voicemails in his inbox saying messages like, "Call me, please".

- Expected him to talk to you daily and spend time with you regularly

- Spoke about commitment

If you've done any of the things above, your relationship is in BIG trouble. The best way to approach this situation is by distancing yourself from him as quickly as possible. Once you've done that, you must begin to do things to create attraction in him. There are lots of things you can to do to create attraction in him.

I strongly encourage you to get yourself a makeover and start meeting new guys right now. That's the only way you can create a feeling of jealousy in him and make him come after you. The relationship isn't certainly over yet. But your boyfriend will be your ex-boyfriend if you don't do this.

You don't have to start a relationship with the new guys you meet. But just meet and hang out with them for fun. That'll be more than enough. Invite him for a party where the guy friends (who are interested in you) are also attending. You'll find him try hard to get your attention. Do it only after you create space in the relationship.

Need to pracite what you'd just learned? Find your match on a free dating site.

This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.

Courtship Before Marriage

Courtship is a period of observing. Observation provides you the information about you and your partner. Sometimes, what you observe may not be pleasing to you but this is the period when you learn how to react to issues and manage differences. During courtship, one is expected to be open and receptive in order to understand your partner better. Being defensive or turning out information that is at variance with your picture of yourself is one of the major barriers to loving relationship. You should establish a good communication system in which you and your partner will freely share what you think and feel especially issues that affect you relationship, such that you and your partner will not tiptoe around each other's egos at the expense of sincerity. When your negative approach to issues is observed by your partner, he/she will be selective of what to share with you. A further result is that partners get progressively alienated from themselves through not having the courage to be rewarding listeners. The situation gets worse when it's taken into marriage. For any person wishes to have a lasting marriage should listen to what your partner has to say rather than being domineering every time.

Some Prerequisites to a successful courtship:

Establish good communication system

Communication in any relationship is like blood in the body system. If it stops flowing, the body dies. Good communication is the life wire of every successful courtship as it helps people understand themselves. Communication is necessary because our culture, background, education, religion etc differ. In order to bond with your partner, you need be able to talk to him/her and be listened to.

You must have common values

You may not totally agree with each other about everything. But both of you should have similar views of the world. If you enjoy interacting with people from other cultures for instance and your partner does not embrace them, it can put stain in your relationship.

Involve your parents

As both of you are getting acquainted to each other's values and belief system, the parents should be involved for advice and direction. The parents of the girl have should have good understanding of what she wants and needs and should be able to edify future their future son in-law. The same thing is also applicable to the parents of the man towards her future daughter in-law.

Be considerate

Always consider the feelings of your partner in any decision you make. His/her wellness, health, happiness should be of concern to you.

Need to pracite what you'd just learned? Find your match on a free dating site.

This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.

Help a New Relationship Blossom

How to Keep it Magical

So you're in a new relationship and you'd like to keep up the momentum. After our initial introduction to a new partner it is good to know how to keep the magic alive. We all of us can be a little lazy when it comes to showing our true appreciation of a partner, and often old fashioned gestures seem a little too much. However, they are not, people like attention so long as it is done with confidence and charm. Once the first date is passed, here are a few things you can do to keep it exciting and help your budding new relationship blossom.

Romance! Yes good old fashioned romance is still very effective, it shows that you care enough to make an effort, and that you're not afraid to show your feelings. Candles, Jewellery and Flowers are still favourites. For him, just show a little magic, dress seductively, be spontaneous, don't just dress up on the first date, keep up the momentum.

Surprise! We've mentioned spontaneity already but it does deserve another mention. Surprises are something we associate with birthdays, Christmas and good times (so long as they're nice surprises). They get our minds searching and our pulses racing. Surprise your partner and keep that initial magic going. It doesn't have to be a trip to New York or a Diamond, just a little gift, some unexpected romantic behaviour, or a bottle of wine and a picnic.

Entertainment! This can be no more than making the effort to cheer someone up. We all have long days at work, delayed trains, the ups and downs of life and so on. It is up to your partner to help put a smile back on your face, make you laugh and see the bright side of life. Laughing and smiling are particularly important because they do actually make us feel physically better. If you can't think of something funny, then take them out to a show or concert on a whim so they can finish the day with a good entertainment fix!

Thoughtfulness: now this is very important, you have to remember stuff! Remember things they said, women in particular get very annoyed if you forget this kind of thing. When you're preparing your surprises and romantic ideas, be mindful of hints and comments made by your partner. If they realise that you've been paying attention and have acted upon it, it will make them feel special and romantic rewards will be forthcoming. So if they mention a place they've always wanted to go, a restaurant they've never been to, or even just a movie they've never shared with a lover... make a mental note. This stuff will serve you well.

This article is brought to you by Relationships Advice Blog.

How Online Dating Help You Get Your Life Partner

Partners can now be able to meet through the Internet and perhaps engage in a mature relationship that can lead to marriage. online dating can be carried out in various ways. For example: there are those who seek for short term relationship, there are those who are seeking for sexual reasons or those seeking fun and pleasure. Others are out to seek for a lifetime partners. When initiating an on line dating, it is important that you define your aim. Without a purpose, you can spend a lot of time on the Internet without getting the partners you want. You need to establish what you want from such an online dating.

Whether you are divorced or have never married, when you search through the Internet's interracial dating, you can get the right partners. However, this dating platform is faced with bottlenecks because people perceive that it is hard to get a partner from the Internet and also people do not trust each other. Although it is advocated that when you are searching for your partners through the Internet, you need to be very cautious; it does not mean that all men and women on the Internet are untrustworthy.

Although there are those on the Internet with ill-intent, there is a pretty good number of men seeking women and vice versa. In order to ensure that you get the right partner from on line dating, there are many things you need to observe.

First, you have to choose a good dating site. There are many sites on the Internet and perhaps you have to be very selective on the site you choose. You can read through the sites reviews to see how other people perceive of such sites. It is also important that you provide your profile in a more comprehensive manner and perhaps you need to upload a photo. Even if the photo does not look so nice, you can use it rather than not using any at all.

It is also important that you log in often on your online dating account to see if there are new people who have joined the site that you can engage in. The more you keep active your account, the more you will appear on the first pages of the search results on the site. It is certain that interracial dating has been expounded through the Internet. One aspect with the Internet is that you can date a person regardless of the race since there is enhanced borderless communication.

You can communicate through live chats where you share your experiences, views, ideals, likes and dislikes in real times. You can also ask questions to your partners. You can introduce yourself through the live chats. In essence, if you are seeking for partners to engage in a relationship whether short term or long term, you should identify a favorite online dating service site and register. You need also be very purpose-guided than going to the Internet when you do not have any idea of what you really want.

This article is brought to you by Relationships Advice Blog.