Tuesday, December 18, 2012

How to Say Sorry and Take the Blame For an Argument

Blaming others can become an ugly habit. It negatively effects all our relationships. Stop and think about these quetions for a moment:

- How often do you look for someone to blame when something goes wrong in your life? Most of the time?

- Does your spouse get the brunt of your blame game?

- Do you often blame others for things that are totally insignificant?

I use to blame my husband a whole lot. Honestly, much of the time it was to make myself feel better (so I discovered later). If I could make him mad, I found some satisfaction in that. I'm certainly not proud that I did this, but it is very freeing to have confessed it, been granted forgiveness and now be able to discuss it openly.

Taking my frustrations out on my husband was so wrong. I have a great husband and, even in the days when our marriage had it's hardships, he never deserved the heat I gave him. What I found was insecurities inside me as to why I needed to blame someone else in order to make myself feel better. As long as I allowed these insecurities to be a driving force, I was always going to be looking for someone to blame.

Taking responsibility for who I am, what I say and what I do is a much better life. God helped me to see the insecurities that I allowed to rule what I said, did and who I blamed in those days. His mercy and grace brought out the authentic me. I am forever grateful. My relationships with my family, friends and even people in passing improved exponentially.

If you can relate to this article, please know that life does not have to be this way and that you haven't done anything that can't be repaired. It's true. There is nothing that you and the Lord cannot handle.

If you have found yourself in a place of blaming others, here are steps to repair the damage:

1. Begin with prayer asking that God would forgive you and give you the courage to make things right.

2. Pray again asking that God would provide the exact right timing and give you the exact right words to make things right.

3. When the timing is provided, speak with the other person - admit your mistake(s) and make amends. Do this with no expectations attached. This is about you owning up to what you have done and making it right; period.

The other person may accept your apology or they may not. The point is for you to do the right thing. Making amends is usually a very humbling and very maturing experience.



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