Relationship Advice - How To End An Abusive Relationship

As a rule, not too many people like the thought of being alone. But, at the same time, no one deserves to spend their life in an abusive relationship. Life is simply too short to waste with a partner who does not appreciate you for who you are and what you have to offer a healthy relationship. But getting out of an abusive relationship can be tricky unless you know just what to do and when to carry it out. That's why it is important to know the best and safest way to end an abusive relationship.

First, is to identify how the relationship is abusive so you know what you are up against. Abuse can be:

• physical,
• sexual,
• psychological,
• emotional,
• verbal, or
• any combination thereof.

Why is it important to understand what kind of abuse you are enduring? Because it helps to dictate your exit strategy.

For instance, if the abuse is physical, once you make a break it has to be a complete one where you will no longer be in their presence. They can't hurt you if they can't touch you. If it is verbal, stop all forms of communication. If they want to talk to you, it will have to be in the presence of others. If it is emotional or psychological in nature, then let them know as soon as the insults or negative comments start, all they will hear is a dial tone.

Second, is to understand once you have made the decision to leave... you have to stick with it. As soon as you notify your partner of your plans, one of two things is going to happen. Either they will try to:

• sweet-talk you into staying by promising you their undying loyalty, being on their best behavior and promising to end all abusive behavior, or
• they will threaten you with more abuse if you carry out your "threat".

Third, you need to be strong. If you make the decision to end the relationship with your abuser, you have to be willing to back it up or it will be unbearable for you to stay. You will need to be strong to get out of the relationship... and to stay out. Plus, this inner strength will serve you well as you begin your life without your abuser.

Fourth, is to find strength in others. Once you leave, your abuser might try to lure you back. They will try to play off of your emotions by using their overbearing personality. Make sure to surround yourself with friends and family who know what is best for you and can help to support you in your decision.

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