Thursday, November 1, 2012

8 Essential First Date Tips for Men

You ever leave a date thinking, "Why didn't I do that?" or "Why did I do that!"? I know I have, on multiple occasions. If right now you're preparing for a date your brain is probably racing with all sorts of ideas and questions. I've been there, recently too. I get tempted to wish dating was easier. But the truth is I want dating to remain adventurous. I just need to plan ahead and prepare for it. Here are some first date tips and etiquette that you can always apply. Don't be too cocky that you think you can just wing it. First impressions are important because you only get one shot.

Since I started dating I've gone on some wonderful first dates and some that I don't recall because they were that horrible. The sad apart about the ones that went wrong is that I planned the date. If I was the conductor and the music didn't flow then I can only blame myself. It might have gone different if I had Google to rely on back in the day. I didn't' though so I learned from my mistakes and others.

Be Confident - Remember she already said YES

First dates are tough! It can be awfully intimidating. You find yourself doing Google searches for First Date Tips. And that's probably how you got here. Remember this, she already said YES. She didn't accept a first date with the guy next to you or some other stranger or your alter ego. You asked her and she told you yes. That's the hardest part but you now know she wants to get to know you.

Focus on your positive traits. Your qualities. The attributes your friends and family love and enjoy. Don't be afraid to ask them for reminders. Bring these to the table and she'll enjoy your company. Leave the negative thoughts at home and step out as you.

Location, Location, Location

If I ask a stranger out or a girl I don't know too well I like to plan a date that isn't too committal. Both on your wallet and time. You'll want to talk, laugh, exchange ideas and beliefs. This can be done over coffee, happy hour or something similar. Sparks won't always fly and if it doesn't it'll be easier for both of you to part ways. If sparks do fly though you can easily suggest something after.

If we're already friends I prefer to plan a date that'll be more than an hour. Have a great dinner and fun evening going for a walk, playing games or even a day adventure like kayaking or hiking. She's your friend so you should know what she likes to do. Now just plan it, get to know her and treat it like a first date for all the other first date tips here.

When I was a noob to dating I can remember planning a few where I suggested a meeting spot and that was the extent of my plan. We'd meet and start walking straight... sometimes West.

Keep Your Expectations in Check

Don't go in to it expecting too much. During or after the date ask yourself these questions. How was the conversation? Did it flow naturally? Was it your type of conversation? Did we laugh? Was there more than physical attraction? Do you want to see her again? There might have been some awkwardness and that's fine. You're both nervous so give her the benefit of the doubt.

Dress to Impress

Dressing for the occasion is dressing to impress. If you're taking her out to dinner at a nice restaurant then wear casual dress clothes or collared shirt and fitted jeans. If you're going kayaking don't wear a suit, wear a bathing suit or board shorts. No matter the occasion be presentable, groomed, get a haircut, put your phone on vibrate or turn it off, spray on some cologne and be clean. Remember - First Impressions.

When I was 18 I once procrastinated the haircut and ended up cutting it myself 2 hours before the date. I think a part of me thought I didn't need one and in the last few hours before the date my hair just started growing 3 times faster. Let's just say there was no 2nd date to procrastinate for. I've heard it's best to get a haircut a week ahead so you don't have tan lines and know how to style your hair.

Manners

Be polite to her and everyone that crosses your path during the date. After telling her she looks beautiful you probably don't want to be guilty of over flattery, so try complimenting something about her. Compliment her outfit, hair or personality.

Chivalry is not dead - It may seem like it is so you'll need to revive it.

Open the door - all doors - car, restaurant, carriage, roller coaster, submarine...
Pay for everything - Remember,you planned the date. Don't even bother asking her about splitting it.

When I was 17 and on my 2nd date ever we ran into a guy that she knew. Problem was that I didn't know she knew him, and this dude and I didn't like each other. Our interaction, which wasn't polite, then made it awkward...

Be on Time

If you're going to be late it better be because Godzilla is roaming the town. Don't let it be due to you forgetting to fill up on gas or time for traffic. Every second you're late she's waiting on you. Do the right thing and be on time. It's part of showing respect - to her.

Beliefs, Passions, Faith

These are normally a part of your core. If during the date you start to feel uncomfortable and you're wondering if it's a Red Flag, then it probably is. For example, I'm a Christian so it just won't work out if she's an atheist or Buddhist.

Follow Up

Forget about those stupid rules like waiting 24 hours or 2 to 3 days before letting her know how much fun you had. Letting her know the next day doesn't mean you have to plan the next date right then and there. You're just letting her know you enjoyed her company. If she did too she'll get back to you and the second date can be planned from there.

These are just a few first date tips that should help you in preparation for your date. Relax, take a chill pill, be fearless, don't load up on caffeine, seek advice and get to know her.

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