In this article permit me to talk about a very sensitive subject. It is the question of what is good about submission, and to posit the belief that a healthy family relationship can be fostered from the behavior.
There may well be a wellness that is inherent in submission. Who would've thought there was such a thing? I never did either until I experienced an emotional jackknife when the thought hit me like a ton of bricks.
In many loving and nurturing spousal relationships, as mine is, there can be disagreements that result into heated disputes. On one such event I asserted a position that it was my duty to stand by what I believed was best for the family. It was at this point that my wife said, "You're treating me like a child!"
After having heard that before, this time the words managed to knife through a deep tissue spot of my sensitivity. And my response was, "Why would you say that? I am not treating you like a child!" I left the conversation searching my head and heart to see what I did to evoke that response from my beloved.
Of course, it could be that my ego had gone haywire, or it could be that there was a truth here that needs to rise from the ashes of oblivion and set on a pinnacle for all to share and be set free. What right did I have to assume a level of authority that trumps that of my wife? I asked myself.
If I hold to the views promoted in biblical theology, then the authority would be mine as supported by such documentation that lays out the golden rule for marriage --the sacred trust that is under-girded by the love for my wife and family. And whether or not that authority is validated, is dependent upon the family being submissive to it when the time comes for it to be exercised.
It is not surprising that my wife said I was treating like a child. I guess I was! What I've learnt through the experience is that, although submission is never childish, it is always child-like. And in order for anyone to exercise submission in any relationship, it will always be normal and natural for us to internalize the feelings of a child.
The Greek word from which submit is translated simply means 'to yield.' And every drivers-license-carrying person knows what that means: If two cars arrive at a four-way stop at the same time, there are traffic laws to follow as to which car makes the next move. If neither car yields there's going be a terrible crash of steel, rendering injuries that can either be critical or fatal to the occupants.
Similarly, in interpersonal relationships where there's an impasse in agreement, if no one yields the relationship will suffer either critical or fatal injuries. It may take some time, but when unyielding becomes a chronic condition the fatality will lead to dissolution of the relationship.
Back to marriage and the biblical worldview. The other side of the issue is that, it is not only the woman who ought to be child-like and submissive, but the man as well --the man submitting to the Christ of his salvation. Contrary to what some believe, two people cannot submit to each other. That is an oxymoron in terms.
Think of it: two cars yielding to each other at the stop sign? "Do something, stupid!" another motorist would shout from behind. "Move it! Are you on crack!?" There would be a traffic jam backing up for miles. Horns would be trumpeting in the midst of chaos. Mutual submission just doesn't work! Someone has to yield
In the pages of the book of Matthew the Lord addressed both men and women when he spoke: I tell you the truth, unless you repent of your sins, and become like little children, you will never get into the kingdom of heaven. Apostle Paul also chimes in: You wives must submit to your husbands leadership in the same way you submit to Christ. To men, he said, Show the same kind of love to your wives as Christ showed to the church when he died for her.
This is the mystical thing: a spiritual law governing relationships that most of us don't take seriously? Each of us is personally responsible to seek wellness through the appropriate rolls of submission that govern our lives. Even so, in our best selves, through change, we're arriving at a place of surrender.
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