Not everyone is born with innate skills and knowledge to fix a broken marriage. Most couples go through a trial and error stage when it comes to dealing with marriage woes that oftentimes leads to disastrous results. A marriage is not simply a relationship, but collaboration between partners; there is a right way and a wrong way to fix a broken marriage. As partners, couples need to find the best solution to mend their broken marriage if they still want to stay together.
· "If it worked for our neighbors, it will definitely work for us!" thinking that a strategy to fix a broken marriage worked for friends and family, it may also work for you. This is a totally wrong notion; each couple is different and their problems totally different and unique from one another. It's important to make self assessments of your needs as a couple so you can start looking for the best strategies that will work for you.
· "We have to fix the issue before we go to sleep." It is totally impossible to fix an issue before you go to sleep; the notion of patching things up before the two of you hit the sack is very ideal, but to rush decisions and to come up with an instant solution to your problems in a heartbeat could lead to half baked results. Make an effort to sleep on the subject first and decide tomorrow when both of you are level headed and well rested. Rest will help make the both of you think clearly and positively as not to rush any decision making.
· "I need space, so back off." Space can be good, but keeping distance from your problems won't do the relationship any good. It's no question that you need time off from the relationship, but you absolutely need to come back when you are level headed and calm.
Couples have to think about the solution to their problems as calmly and as civilly as possible; sit down and talk. You don't absolutely have to come up with a solution right away, but working together to come up with a solution is already a sign that both of your care enough to make your marriage work.
· "Let's see what mother has to say about this!" Limit people who are involved in your arguments and indifferences, settle your troubles outright together. If you decide that both of you need help, then seek the advice of a relationship expert or in the worst of cases you could consult a marriage counselor. Parents and in laws need to back off, especially when it comes to very sensitive issues, and let you as a couple manage things on your own.
They should know that you will ask for help when you need it, and if they want to help, should be ready to offer practical and non conforming advice.
There are right ways and incorrect ways to fix a broken marriage. Get sensible marriage advice for you and your spouse by looking for a relationship expert who has experience saving broken marriages before it's too late.
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