Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Online Dating Trap - Guys Pay Attention To This

Something that I have noticed when talking to guys who have struck out miserably when it comes to online dating, is that they commonly fall into a trap without even realizing it. And, as long as they stay in that trap, the odds that they are going to have any success when it comes to online dating is pretty much nil. So, what is this online dating trap?

It's the idea that using an online dating site is like using a site like Facebook and it is so not that way at all.

Why do people use Facebook and other sites like that?

It's to network mostly with friends, family, and acquaintances. When it comes to online dating sites, the game should be played a bit differently. You are not there to make friends or provide status updates, you are there to meet women you can take out on a date and hopefully hit it off with one of those women so that you end up with a girlfriend. Right?

So, here is an example of what I mean: Joe signs up to an online dating site and he starts messaging women in a very friendly context. Day in and day out, he keeps in contact with those women, still in the same friendly context, but never takes it to a level above that friendly context.

After a while, Joe concludes that internet dating sucks, because he doesn't have any actual dates? He's got women that he is messaging once in a while, but no dates.

That is the trap.

What you have to do is take things beyond that friendly context at some point, because like I said and like you know deep down is true, you don't try to use an online dating site to build friendships and pen pal kind of relationships with women.

You do it because you want to get dates and eventually end up with a girlfriend.

Keep that in mind when you join a dating site. It's not Facebook and you are not trying to build up a list of friends. At some point, you have to show your attraction to a woman and you have to flirt with her so that you can get her to where she wants to meet up with you.

If you don't, you'll just end up as another average Joe that strikes out when it comes to online dating and declare that it sucks, when the reality is that you just didn't play the game the way it was meant to be played.

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