Relationship Advice - Are You Over Your Ex?

Anyone who has ever been through a breakup will tell you the best thing to do is to move on. But what if you find you just can't? And how do you tell if you really are over them or not?

In order to determine if you really are over your ex, you need to take a close look at the breakup.

Who asked for the breakup: was it just your ex-partner requesting it or was it mutual? If it was by mutual agreement, then how could you not be over them since you agreed to the breakup?

Often, even a person who agrees to a breakup might not feel as if they are over their partner until they have someone else lined up to be with. This could be because of low self-esteem or it could just be the fact they don't want to be alone. Either way, it could have nothing to do with still being interested in their ex. It could be more to do with not being sure of how they will get on with their life.

If your partner asked for the breakup, still being interested is normal, especially if you didn't see it coming. Or did you? Were there signs you ignored? Has this been a long time coming and you denied what was happening?

Perhaps you are still interested because you feel there is something there that still exists. It might exist for you, but your partner obviously doesn't share your opinion.

To determine if you are truly over your ex take a look at how you feel about moving on. Do you feel there is someone else out there who is right for you? If not, why not? Do you feel free to move on and look for them? Or does the thought of being with someone else raise guilt within you?

If your ex has moved on, so should you. The only person who stands to be hurt if you don't move on... is you. They are continuing on with their life. It isn't fair for you to waste yours waiting for something that will never happen.

Sometimes moving on is painful because it signals a definitive end to the relationship. Until then, not letting go gives you a false sense of security the relationship can still be salvaged. Your ex has already decided that it isn't going to happen. You should make this decision, too.

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