Friday, October 26, 2012

What to Do When Your Forgot About Your Anniversary

Picture the scene.

It's 150,000BC, Mr. Caveman and his tribe hunker down in the undergrowth ready to pounce on an unsuspecting Wildebeest.

They strike, capture the beast and chop him up ready for the journey back to camp.

They make their way into camp triumphant, keen to see the smiling faces of the tribes people.

But hang on, what's this? There are no smiles, just icy stares and scowls emanating from every face in the crowd.

It's at that moment it dawns on Mr. Caveman dun dun duuuun he's forgotten their anniversary!!

Mr. Caveman knows his fate is sealed. He is shunned from the tribe and lives out his days in exile destined to a life of isolation until eventually he is gobbled up by a passing T-Rex, a fitting punishment for such a heinous crime.

The tribes people rejoice safe in the knowledge that this awful man has met his fate.

The End

Not a likely scenario right?

Back in the good old days of Dinosaur Vs Man Men's duties were clear: 1) defend the camp and 2) hunt dangerous and delicious beasts. They weren't expected to worry about remembering their Anniversary or their Mums birthday.

We are a product of thousands of years of evolution but this focus on external factors remains prevalent in the male constitution. This, as Psychologist Dr Herb Goldberg points out, is part of the reason why a high percentage of men forget important dates like birthdays and anniversaries.

"They [men] are wired to focus on the external threats and pressures of the world outside of their "safe" relationships".

"In earlier times that meant hunting dangerous game and defending the homestead from marauding tribes but today is more likely to mean getting that promotion and ensuring that Jones from sales doesn't get it," Dr Goldberg says.

"A man who forgets an anniversary or birthday is not being cruel or deliberately hurtful but is disconnected from the personal realm by his focus on the external realm. Men can become so focused on things outside of the relationship - work, sport, and hobbies/interests that they become 'blind' to everything else."

Guys tend to remember important dates such as Mortgage payments and Insurance renewals but less logical events simply fall off the edge in the list of things to do.

We all know Men and Women think differently, there have been numerous studies documenting this and evidence suggests it's the same the world over.

In conclusion, Men are rubbish at remembering Birthdays and Anniversaries but they have a pretty good excuse.

However as any man who has forgotten his anniversary will know; having a good excuse will not prevent the inevitable tirade which follows any forgotten occasion.

It comes down to the fact that while it may not seem like a big deal to guys, it means a lot to the ladies.

A recent survey revealed that 88% of women would be hurt if someone close to them forgot their birthday and 55% would feel that person didn't care about them!

So guys buy a calendar, use a diary, write every date down on a post-it note and decorate your office with them, there are countless ways to ensure you don't forget these occasions. Don't leave these dates to tumble around in the jumbled up filing cabinet which is your head because they will fall out it's just a matter of time!



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