In this day and age of technology and limited time, more and more of us who are single, will turn to online dating to try to find someone special.
The challenge with online dating is that someone can say anything to grab your attention,whether it's true or not and may not necessarily be the person in the photos that are posted. You can be virtually anyone online by typing up clever lines and grabbing good looking photos from a Google Image search for example.
So how in the world can you be sure who you are talking to is really who you think it is? The first step is to listen to your gut instinct, if something does not seem quite right, it is probably not. From there you may have to put on your online investigator hat and do some research. For now, check out the following common warning signs below.
Online Dating Warning Sign Number One
Their profile is very well written but their communication skills with you are the pits. Have you ever run across a profile that is masterfully written, so much so, that even a member of the grammar police would be proud? It says just the right things that you want to hear in the right places and because their writing skills are above average, you figure that they must possess the Master's degree they claim to have earned. But you notice that when they communicate with you through instant message or by text that they use shorthand, frequently misspell words and use improper grammar. Their messages don't feel like it could have come from the same person. What's up with that?
It may be that they were just putting their best foot forward in the written portion of their profile or had it professionally written from a questionnaire they filled out. Or, they may have copy and pasted it from someone else's profile, meaning they are a fraud.
Online Dating Warning Sign Number Two
They only want to Instant Message or have a Google phone number to mask their real number. Someone who doesn't want you to really know who they are may ask you to instant message with them on a service like Yahoo. There's nothing wrong with instant messaging to start off a conversation. However, if that is their only form of communication, that should set off a red flag. With a legitimate email address you can search and get their IP address to verify their location and make sure it matches where they claim to live. You should be able to Google search using their phone number to also verify the location and make sure they are being truthful.
Someone who doesn't want you to have their email address or phone number that could be traced to prove their location is probably up to no good.
Online Dating Warning Sign Number Three
The person you're chatting with is giving you conflicting stories. There is an old saying "You don't have to remember the truth." This means that if you ask someone the same question, you should get the same honest answer. Recently, someone I was chatting with told me that they were Catholic and I thought "That's strange, their profile says Protestant." It could be that when filling out their profile, they selected the wrong box, however either way that set off my radar detector and it needed to be questioned. Keep your ears open and listen to make sure everything seems consistent with their profile and any past conversations you have had.
Online Dating Warning Sign Number Four
The person you are interested in has given you their name, location, profession and phone number but you cannot validate or verify any of the information. With all the social media sites and business web sites, you would think that you would be able to find them in at least a few search results, wouldn't you? If someone says they are a successful artist but there is nothing about them online with their name, location and at least a few images of their work, I would be suspicious. Are their giving you a fake name, information or location and if so, why?
Online Dating Warning Sign Number Five
They want more of your photos, information about you or a web cam chat but do not offer to reciprocate. When someone is fishing or phishing for more information about you but won't reciprocate, that's a warning sign. They may be gathering all the info they can to charm you in the future into giving them something, or worse. If someone wants you to chat via web cam, insist that they do it to, or if they want more info or photos of you, ask for the same in return. After all, if they are honest and legitimate, fair is fair right?
There are additional warning signs that can come up. These are just a handful of them. Just remember the rule of thumb is if something doesn't make sense or seem right, it may not be.
A few quick things you can do early on to protect yourself from scammers and fakes is to use some free online resources.
First, make Google your best friend and search their screen name, instant message name, or anything else they give you to contact them. Check out dating scam web sites and see if they are listed or if their dating pitch sounds awfully familiar to any listed.
Second, use Google Image Search to verify that the pix you're drooling over don't belong to any celebrities and seem like they are really the person you think they are. You can right click on an image and copy the image's URL code to put into the Google Image Search. Or, what I do, is right click on an image and Save a Copy of it. Then I click on the Google camera icon and upload it.
Google will return search engine images that seem similar of that will match it. If your hottie appears to have the same face as a celebrity or other popular person, you'll know you probably have been communicating with an imposter. Voila! (I've caught two people using images that weren't them myself recently using this tool)
Last, once you have their email address, send them an email and if you get one in return, you can run it through a IP address search engine that you can find online for free. Search: With an IP address, you can usually validate what city or state the email come from.
You can also search for any key words they use, their screen name or name they've given through web sites that expose scam artists.
By taking care to listen to your gut and to do some light private detective work online, you can help ensure that you're speaking to the person you think you are, and if not, find out early on so you don't waste a lot of time with them or become a victim of crime.
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