Relationship Advice - Was The Relationship Doomed From The Beginning?

It's over. Your relationship has officially ended. Although the end of a relationship is usually not pleasant, this time it's different. Although there is sadness, you have a much more settled feeling than you thought you would have. It's almost a sense of relief. Why is that? Is it because you realize this really wasn't the right person to be with? Did things take a turn for the worse at the end... or was the relationship doomed from the beginning and you never really admitted it to yourself?

Sometimes our heart knows what is right and our head won't admit it. It could be the other way around. Either way, we can sometimes fool ourselves into believing everything will be okay... when deep down we know that really isn't the truth. Why do we put ourselves through that? There are several reasons.

They might not always seem logical, but at the time they make perfect sense to us. We know better but we won't admit to ourselves we know better. We won't admit we have made a mistake. It's almost like we are trying to fool ourselves. But sooner or later it catches up with us. So why do we do it?

1. It makes us feel better. Perhaps you had just come out of a bad relationship and you wanted to believe this one was going to work out. Maybe you desperately wanted to break the chain of relationship disasters that had recently befallen you. It felt good to be with someone again, even though your ex didn't exactly match what you were looking for in a partner.

2. We thought we could change things. The foundation was somewhat okay so you falsely believed you could make the necessary adjustments in the belief everything would have eventually fallen into place. But all the adjustments that had to be made to make it acceptable were way too much and, in the end, it would not have been a healthy and happy relationship anyway.

3. We kid ourselves everything will be okay. You believed there was more to the relationship than there actually was. Why? Maybe you were tired of the dating scene. Maybe you just didn't want to be alone, you don't like being alone. Whatever the reason, you thought you could fool yourself. Unfortunately, that never works.

Most of the time, even early in the relationship, we know if the relationship is destined to collapse. We might not want to admit it, but the facts are there. That's why others often see it when we don't... because our perception is skewed and their's isn't.