How To Balance Relationships Between Old And New Relations

We all have lots of friends and relations,
some new, some old.
Friends can be easily replaced,
at short notice, with some discomfort;
not so with relations.
We have to live with them, tolerate them, make compromises;
relations, old or new are long-term investments in life,
and spouse among them is a key figure, nearly indispensable,
in spite of increase in live-in relationships and divorces all around.

New relations should enhance the existing synergy, in the family;
which may not be always true,
as sharing of friends or relations, is not amicable in general.

We have old, sweet nostalgic memories,
of our childhood, growth, college days,
with old relations: parents, siblings,
which our new relations: spouse, in-laws,
may not value as much as we do.
The new relations, husband or wife too,
are more intimate and comfortable with,
their old relations: parents, siblings,
and less inclined towards their new found relations,
through the spouse, i.e. in-laws.

The new relations, newly wedded couple,
both husband and wife, have mutual expectations,
to be given supreme importance, in the new relationship;
over and above spouse's parents.
After marriage, spouses must live as per their choice,
with least interference by in-laws directly,
or indirectly by offering unsolicited advice,
and the new family should be self-reliant with full autonomy in life.

Among relations,
there is always rivalry, followed by jealousy;
human beings are possessive by nature.
Parents will be reluctant to accept,
secondary status in dealing with their son or daughter after marriage,
would like to retain the previous intimacy;
which will be rightly resisted by spouse,
and is not practical any more.
The new equation will be realised, but it may lag slightly;
and dilute harmony in the family.

If only we could learn,
that a new universe has begun, with a new relationship,
the husband and wife,
who, in the foot steps of Adam and Eve,
are about to begin the same journey,
to start a world of their own;
and if we could stop finding fault or offering suggestions endlessly,
to the newly wedded couple,
and let them explore the married life on their own,
there will be pleasant panorama in the families all over the world;
denied at present.
The young couple too could add harmony in the families,
by just loving and respecting the in-laws,
i.e. the spouse's parents and siblings;
and not cold shouldering, as at present..

It is not so easy, old traditions die hard,
it is carrying on like this, since time immemorial,
because we hardly believe in,
'do unto others what you want done unto you'.
Why can't we have equal friendship,
with old friends or relations of the spouse?

We are all imperfect human beings;
but we expect our loved ones to behave like perfect humans.
God has implanted, incorrigible imperfections in humanity,
to test our fortitude, our ability,
to discriminate right or wrong attitude,
and live in peace.

We have failed so far, in the history of our civilisation,
and there is no attempt, to correct it even now.
We failed in the past and we are destined to fail in future,
for we are not even aware of,
what is wrong;
the failure is prevalent,
in every household in the world,
and is painful.
The old and new relations are at loggerhead,
with deceptive peace, utter disregard to each other, camouflaged by civility.

May God bless us all,
to overcome 'duality' in our minds and actions;
duality i.e. who are mine, who are not,
whom I can love spontaneously, whom I can't,
with whom, I can share life and communicate, with whom I can't,
and resolve to give genuine, informal love to our in-laws;
same as we reserve for our own parents and siblings.