Relationship Advice - Is It Time to Break Up?

Should you break up or stay together? This can be a difficult choice. Whichever way you turn, it deserves the right consideration. But if you decide to break up, it should be for the right reasons.

Here are a few reasons to give some thought to:

1. Your ideal life is very different. This doesn't mean you want a car and your partner wants a truck. It's a little deeper and more serious than that. It's more along the lines of:

• you want children and your partner doesn't.
• your partner wants to sell everything and join the circus and you are don't think that's reasonable.
• your partner wants to breed and sell poisonous snakes and you don't.

These are big enough that no compromise is going to settle without one of you feeling like you are really losing out.

2. You found out your partner cheated on you. This is a big one in anyone's language and an automatic deal-killer for many people. There might be some partners who are willing to forgive, but even if they don't bring it up constantly or in the midst of every fight they have, they will still lose at least a little respect for the partner who cheated. A partner can get over a lot of things, but a loss of trust often isn't one of them.

3. You have really grown apart and it seems to be impossible to get close again. This happens sometimes. Two people start out close and compatible and, as time passes, they realize it was more of an infatuation than anything else. This is quite common when one of the couple was rebounding when they first met. It isn't anyone's fault, it's just the newness has worn off and reality has set in.

4. You were being used. This is a no-brainer. If your partner was just using you to get back at someone else (usually their ex), then you cut them off and you do it now! No amount of excuses or reasons can make up for emotionally dragging someone along.

5. You found out they lied about something important from their past. We all have little secrets. Shoplifting once as a teenager might be a forgivable offense. Serving time for interstate drug trafficking might not be. Your partner should be able to share with you important issues from their past. This is when it pays to know who you are having a relationship with. Take your time and get to know them, meet their family and friends. This doesn't mean running a background check on anyone you are dating, but it does mean knowing enough about them so you don't have to worry about what they might not be telling you.