In my last post, I discussed how an old friend had introduced me to online Asian dating sites. I had registered at a website and made a connection with one of the many girls that I had corresponded with. We had made a connection and had moved from talking via emails to talking via chat also. I was surprised by a few things I had learned about online dating. First, I was amazed at how many girls were interested in me. And second, I was surprised at how rapidly I had met a girl that I considered to be special.
In the first week, we exchanged emails daily. I was also corresponding with about ten other girls. But after a few messages, I had discovered things about all of these girls that ruled out a future relationship. At the same time, the one special girl that I connected with was becoming more interesting with each email. I made the decision to stop communicating with the other girls, and exclusively communicate with my special new friend from that point forward.
As I mentioned earlier, we had added chats to our method of communication. This was much quicker than an email and felt more like an interactive conversation. We chatted several times a day, when our schedule allowed. We had a lot in common and the list kept growing. I kept thinking to myself; Man, this was so easy. Why hadn't someone introduced me to Asian dating websites earlier?
By the fourth week, I was starting to get emotionally attached to my special Asian girl. She was sweet, and had all the qualities of a girl that you would want to spend the rest of your life with. Around the end of the first month, I asked her if we could video chat. Sadly, she informed me that the internet cafe that she used did not offer webcams. You see, she did not have her own computer so she would go to a local internet cafe to chat with me and send emails. Although disappointed, I realized that not everybody in the world had their own computer.
By the end of the sixth week, I was smitten by my lady. She was sending pictures of herself almost daily. I saw her house and also some of her family and friends. I was sending similar pictures of my home and acquaintances back to her. Now I wondered what the next step would be. How long was I expected to wait before we would meet each other? The following day I asked her this question. She said that she was ready to meet me. But before I could tell her that I was going to plan a trip to see her, she told me that she wanted to come to me. That was perfect. She could see where I lived and the house that I hoped we would spend the rest of or lives in.
She had the next day off and so she went to her local travel agency to get the necessary information to obtain a visa. I was so excited. This was going so well. The next day we chatted and she told me all about the visa requirements. She had spent the entire day at the travel company. It seemed pretty standard, and the visa cost was $400. Since I did not know anything about obtaining a visa to travel to the United States, I figured I would do some online research. I found several companies within the US that would perform the same services. And their cost was about the same.
The following day, I told her about our options. I had found many travel companies in the US, but she really wanted to use her local travel service. It was the first time she was going to travel and it was exciting for her to be able to give this business to her friend's business. I did not really care who helped us obtain her visa. So I asked her to send me the details of the travel company so I could arrange the payment. She quickly replied that it was easiest to simply wire the money to her. I told her that it would be easier for me if I could just pay the travel agent directly, since I would be able to use my credit card.
I didn't want to wait another day, so I asked her for their address and I would simply Google the contact information. She told me she did not know their address. I was a bit confused by this since she had spent the entire previous day there. Then I asked her for the phone number of the company. She did not know it the phone number either. Next, I asked her about the name of the company, she did not know it. This was not making any sense.
Before I could say another word, she asked me if I trusted her. I said that I had no reason NOT to trust her. Then she asked why I had a problem with sending the money directly to her. She was anxious to come and meet me and wanted to begin the process as quickly as possible. I told her that I did not live near a wire transfer agent and it would be more convenient for me to use a credit card. I told her that all world travel agencies would accept a credit card and should have a company website. She seemed upset by this, and asked me why I didn't trust her. Again I told her that I trusted her but the quickest way to pay for her visa was with a credit card. Her tone changed to hostile, and for the first time in six weeks all was not perfect. After a few minutes of heated chat, she said she would get the travel company's information for me, then logged off. The honeymoon was over!
The following day, she emailed me the information on this company. The email did not include the company name, or their address, or their phone number, or their website address. It simply listed an email address; or more specifically, a generic Yahoo email address. Apparently this company did not have their own website or URL. I knew something was amiss at this point. But hoping I was wrong, I sent an email to the address she provided and then went online so I could chat with my lady. But she was not there. This was another first.
The following day all I received was one short email from her and no reply email from the travel company. She explained that she was angry because she had spent six weeks chatting with me and after all that time, she felt I did not trust her. It was a compete change in her attitude; no sweet talk or niceties but only angry words. I finally came to the realization that all was not as it appeared to be.
The girl of my dreams had just tried to scam me.
I was actually shocked by this. I recalled the six weeks that I knew my special lady. We had sent each other dozens of very long and detailed emails. We had chatted daily for several weeks. Would this girl put that much time effort into a $400 scam? How could someone make a living devoting so much work for so little money. As I told my tale to one friend, he explained to me that the living standards are very different in some countries. That, $400 was more than the average monthly salary in the Asian country that my girl was from. That she probably was corresponding with many guys in the hopes that every month she could scam one or two of them into sending her the money; thus making a living.
This certainly had become a learning experience. I had learned that a whole new world of potential love existed in Asian dating sites. That there were dozens, if not hundreds, of Asian girls that were interested in dating a guy like me. But I also learned that there were dangers in this world. That there were people looking to scam an American guy by any means. Well I was not completely soured by this experience and knew that I must be more vigilant in the future. I had survived an attempted scam. I decided that I would lessen the chances of running into another scammer by being selective about the nationalities of girls I would chat with in the future. Primarily, I would concentrate on Filipina girls. Since Philippine women were primarily Christian and reputed to be very sincere and moral. These virtuous Filipinas were my plan for a scam free dating future. I had learned and would soon put my new plan into action.
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