What Is a Cougar?

The Merriam Websters Dictionary defines cougar as "a large powerful tawny-brown cat (Felis concolor) formerly widespread in the Americas but now reduced in number or extinct in many areas." It then proceeds to describe the slang version of the word cougar, "a middle-aged woman seeking a romantic relationship with a younger man." I'm going to explore the later of the two, an ever-growing popular phenomenon in today's society.

After typing the word cougar into the Google search engine, seven out of the twelve sites that appeared on page one were talking about a relationship between an older woman and a younger man. Another search resulted in several dating sites geared specifically to find a cougar or a cub (younger male.) The most popular sites I found were, Cougar Life and Date a Cougar. Both sites automatically pop up with the viewers location and the desired search choice, male or female. I proceeded to sign up for the Cougar Life via my Facebook account but then quickly hit the cancel button. The last thing I need is to have eighteen to thirty-five year old men contacting me. As I am the age to be a cougar, I don't think my husband would like me to be a Mrs. Robinson.

I know why an older woman would be attractive to a younger male, the obvious comes to mind, young, vibrant, good-looking, to name a few. Then I considered, what would be the attraction for a younger male to seek out an older female? The answers were not as obvious. Some cubs would say an older woman not only is secure financially but also secure with how they fill about themselves. The other big reason was maturity. An older woman won't mess with their heads as a younger one would. They also don't need to go to every trendy new bar, pay an extraordinarily high cover charge to get in only to find the cost of the drinks would eat up a young man's paycheck in minutes. An older women has gone through that phase only to find it's not all that it's cut out to be. Oh yes, attractiveness was a big consideration not to mention, older women are more experienced in bed.

One interesting consideration I uncovered was a Sigmund Freud theory called the "Oedipus Complex." Oedipus the King was the subject of a Sophocles trilogy where Oedipus was destined to grow up and kill his father and marry his mother. Freud considered the complex to be when a young man has sexual feelings toward his mother. A younger man seeking an older woman could be acting upon that feeling.

Some famous cougar/cub relationships include Julianne Moore who is married to director Burt Freudlich, nine years her junior. Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon in 2008. Carey is ten years older than Cannon. Fifteen years is the age spread between Geena Davis and her husband, Rezza Jarrahy, an Iranian American plastic surgeon.

In wrapping up my article, I want to consider for a minute that if I was a Mrs. Robinson, what would I consider in searching for a younger man? But then as I think through this, I come up with more reasons that I would avoid a relationship with a younger man. The foremost one is, how could I ever undress in front of anyone younger than me? The conclusion, I wouldn't. So perhaps being a cougar is not for me. But for all those who it is, Here's to you Mrs. Robinson.